We rarely feel jealous when in casual relationships, which is why jealousy can signal that this person is important to us. But when this feeling takes over, we try our best to push it out of our minds, often engaging in actions we later regret. Jealousy can create significant problems for us.
This poignant emotion arises from a combination of intense love and strong fear. The actions prompted by jealousy can jeopardize the very relationships we want to protect. Our jealous thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are accompanied by feelings of shame and guilt.
Since jealousy is rooted in a sense of relationship threat, criticism, neglect, or mockery only make you feel worse and can even intensify jealousy.
While dealing with jealousy, it's possible to doubt your own normalcy and even your right to feel this way in the first place. Our society's culture often implies that painful and complex emotions are unacceptable, and if you experience them, there must be something wrong with you. But jealousy is a part of human nature, close relationships, and strong feelings.
Once you've experienced jealousy - a persistent feeling that someone can't be trusted - what will you do next? Jealous thoughts and feelings lead to common types of reactions and behaviors, such as interrogations, searching for evidence of betrayal, attempts at control, using punishments, intense worry about potential betrayal, and fear of what betrayal might lead to. But it's not always the case - you can choose how to act in reality.
If jealousy is justified, it might be the right time to stand up for your interests, address problems with your partner, and establish boundaries. Factors that trigger jealousy can lead a couple to clarify mutual commitments, develop guidelines, and establish mutual understanding - ways to strengthen trust.
Sometimes, jealousy can tell us what relationships need the most, whether it's commitment, honesty, transparency, or choice!
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