It turns out that by polishing the already known and practiced, it is impossible to break through the thin ceiling that separates the "cook" from the "chef". You can't become a chef by following the recipes of others; you can only become one by creating your own.

But the problem is different: while for those who have long ago polished everything they could polish, this idea can help them to transform from a good performer into a true creator, for others it can be a path to chaos. And this applies to all contexts of our lives. After all, "Chief" is not a self-sufficient phenomenon, but a prefix signifying seniority. Logically, it is impossible to become a chef without being a chef, just as it is impossible to brag about rules without first learning them.

Everything works the same way with happy relationships: it is not meticulous adherence to the rules told by someone else that makes a couple happy, but the creation of their own, unique rules based on them. And no matter how "wacky" this recipe may seem, if it works for the happiness of both, it is good. After all, happy people are not judged.

But.

To become a master at anything, you must first learn the basics. And not only to learn - you need to live through their frame, to lean on them, to then boldly push off from them and instead of the stain of disappointment to create their own work of art.
So here we go.



1. Proper pauses are the law of keeping things interesting in a relationship
Trust, total immersion in each other and oneness with your partner is a cool and important thing, and without it, a relationship can't happen. To achieve it we adjust to each other by gestures, by words, by rhythm and views on life, on domestic and sexual issues. In this way we create a kind of cozy emotional-physical wigwam to which we want to return.

Someone does it consciously, someone intuitively, but the result is always the same: a state of harmony.
At this moment of perfectly tuned resonance it is especially easy to lose the sense of proportion and forget that the continuation of advantages has always been and will be disadvantages. Comfort, for example, is transformed into convenience, and convenience continues itself in the quagmire that we know sucks us in and poisons us. In it, the acuity of feelings diminishes and the value of the partner falls, no matter how wonderful he or she may be.
2. The meaning of what we say or do to a person is always in their reaction to it
There are hundreds of ways to convey a single message, and only a few of them will lead us to the desired result. The problem is that people themselves are not always aware of what, in fact, lecheh result they expect in response to their words or actions.
3. The roles we play determine our relationships
What role will take a person near you, you determine. By their role.

Briefly, role rapport and simple logic states that we simply will not be in a relationship with a person whose life and attitudinal roles are not "docked" with ours. After all, everything in the world is dual: a storyteller is useless without a listener, a writer is made so by a reader, and a tyrant does not exist without a victim. The same principle is responsible for our love relationships.
There are no right and wrong roles, there are those that either bring happiness to both or take it away. The question of change comes to a head (if you're lucky) when one or both "components" in it are unhappy. And that's when something has to be done. Starting, of course, with yourself.
The main thing is that you want to be with the person and work on this relationship. And I believe that you will succeed, but do you believe?
Veronica