So how do you have a happy marriage ? Follow these steps .
My parents were married for 45 years until my father passed. My mother lived another 13 plus years. I asked her why she never dated ? Why she never sought out another man to be with?
This is what she told me.
I will wait for your father until we meet again. I will only leave his touch upon me.
I was in shock by her statement .
I come from a large family my parents were stretched from one child to another . In my eyes they seemed to fight and argue over everything. So I realized I was missing something completely so I asked my mother to explain.
She said there was a lot of men interested in my who tried to win my heart. But no one but your father could I see the loyalty and devotion so true in. Yes men with money , good looking , big men strong men . You name it all type were out there.
( my mother came from a very good home , my father had a struggling childhood . His mother died when he was 10 . During the Great Depression that hit the US.
My father was born into a family of 10 children without a mother ).
That's where my father learned respect for women. He grew up without a mother . And he was going to make sure his sons understood how to respect women.
So my mother explained to me.
Still confused I had her explain more.
She said a marriage only works on a few critical things .
1. A complete baring of 1's soul to their partner .
2. Same moral , values, ethics, beliefs in everything . You can have same interests or completely different interests. If you both do not agree morally , ethically , values and same belief system it will never work.
3. Everyone lies let's be honest here. But at the end how does the lie affect you? When will they come to you with the truth. In order for a marriage to work. You must not be overly confrontational . The key is understanding why they lied. Maybe pride, or they couldn't tell you at that moment in front of others. You need to look through their eyes see their heart and soul . Talk to them privately heart to heart. So they can talk to you personally. They maybe protecting you, buying you a gift you just never know. The truth always comes out .
4. What does it matter in the grand scheme of life mentality .
If no one gets hurt, no one dies, no one is going to jail.
Do the small things in a relationship that bother you truly matter? Who does the dishes, take out the garbage, cooks the meal the way they like it and you don't . To many people believe they have entitlements or rights above all others. His way my way does it truly matter ? As long as it gets done some way.
5. Expectations are a fools Paradise . Just accept look at your partners flaws. And do not force change. Help them but never try and change them. If they want to change they will.
6. Love is not attraction, desire, lust, chemistry or any other name. That's in the movies not real life.
7. Be with someone who is real with you . They will make you happy naturally .
8. If you want a person who is humorous marry a comedian. Then try and get them to be real it never works. Because they are hiding who they are behind the laughter like a clown wearing the mask. You can't really seeing who you going to truly get once the mask comes off.
9. Communication . If you or them ask a question. And you or them do not answer it. You will never make your marriage last. Because your not communicating.
10. Your spouse comes first always. Your children are standing on the foundation you and your partner are building .
Like a tree the two of you are the trunk of the tree. Children are the branches that are supported by the both of you together .