In life we all have had high expectations. A dream world where we fantasize about our lives with someone. How everything will be perfect.
We all have had great disappointments and amazing great surprises as well.
So our hopes rise and fall in life.
That's called living ! When we exist in life we look for change, a way out, trying to force improvements, and refusal to accept the cold hard realities of life.
We live our lives by trial and error always looking for the best possible solution.
But the question that remains is?
Are we part of the problem or part of the solution ?
Ever have that moment in life you can not resolve a problem no matter how hard you try? Then you give up or walk away and some time later you find the solution to your problem. Like this voice in your head that just whispered the answer to you.
Well in relationship we have something similar happen. I refer to it as your moral compass resetting itself.
The best way to keep your moral compass set in the right direction. Is through honesty, intregrity , and placing your partners happiness above your own. But the catch is not putting yourself last. In the world of givers and takers . Love has to be balanced. Even the expressions of affection is a life time job.
Women are emotional creatures . Where men are as well. The main difference is men are taught not to express them as much as women through out their childhood. The key to this is communication. Ask any man who is divorced , or cheated . You get the same answer . My wife or girlfriend didn't listen to me. Ask any woman who is divorced or who has cheated. They answer he didn't listen to me.
Strange how to different people two different brains say the same thing.
Communication is not merely words it's in everything we do.
From body language , intimacy, words, things left undone or failed to do or refused.
So learning many ways of communication is essential to discovering your own happiness .
The false belief of the way to a mans heart is through his stomach . Is completely wrong! It mirrors a passage from religion in which Jesus says to his apostles down by the sea. Who were searching for fish to feed themselves. Instead Jesus talked about making them fishers of men. By feeding their hearts, minds, and souls. Not their stomachs.
So ladies you see feeding your mans heart mind and soul over the body is far more important.
I've been asked why I so love Eastern European women. So many times.
I keep answering this question with this answer.
Yes they are beautiful , great cooks and great mothers. But what they can feed me is far more important than food , sex, seduction, physical beauty, or even wealth. They can feed my heart mind and soul more deeply than most.
Ever look at a western man who has married a good Eastern European woman? They change him slowly and for the betterment of himself . They do this by teaching him his value to himself and their family . Through encouragement and support . The man dresses better cleans ups really great . He's happier , because he feels loved and supported in ways most women can't do .
He becomes more successful in all areas in his life . Because he learns he can trust again so he puts his faith and trust into her.
They do this with old fashioned values and beliefs that are instilled in them from childhood .
The values and beliefs their own mothers have still remain.
When it comes to love and a mans age. The wise ones have learned it's better to be a mans last love than his first or any other love in his life . For his last love will treat her like a queen always.
For a mans first loves and his in between loves are fleeting.
They also know that most women are 15 to 20 years more mature than a man the same age. So being with a man who is " very mature" is more likely to be more stable and last a life time without a divorce or broken family or a blended one . That creates drama and frustration in everyone's lives.
Because the mature man has life experience and is more determined to work through any difficulties they may encounter.
Ask any man who is over 50 to reflect upon his youth if he is wise and learned his life lessons. He will know what's important in life and relationships.
His 20's were filled with idealism and energy.
His 30's starting to find his way in life still learning .
His 40's fixing his mistakes he's made.
By 50 he has found his way.