Engagements aren't an achievement. Engagements are a grown-up decision made between two people who have discussed their relationship and decided that, hey, they're clearly better together than not, so why not make it official? That's a wonderful moment that deserves celebrating, but calling it an achievement implies that you've succeeded at something (i.e. landing a husband) you otherwise may not have had the drive to go forth and accomplish. Then not being engaged must mean you haven't achieved something, and, for the sake of this argument, that you're the marital equivalent of someone sleeping in their parents' basement at 30. It implies failure on the part of the un-engaged, and that's uncool.

And if I thought my friend didn't deserve congratulations on her upcoming wedding because she was settling or marrying some dude who didn't treat her right, hopefully we would have that conversation way before the point that I'm meekly offering her "Best wishes" for getting through life with him — so far.

So, if I will get engaged, I would have only the best wishes, I will explain how I'm happy when I see a beautiful ring ... I just won't say congratulations to us anymore. When we get through 20 years of marriage together - then I congratulate us. Now, that's an achievement.