I have read a few blogs here regarding this issue. As a older man who does not have children I wish to voice my opinion on this issue.

In the life of a woman there is an ingrained want or wish, if you will, to bear the man they love a child. Men like me see this wish or want as a token of her love for him. It is the natural order of life. Woman were created to bring life and a man to create it. It takes both to make a child. Having said this, I also add this very vital wisdom. No man or woman should ever bring a child into this world without serious discussion or planning. A child is a very costly and time consuming addition to any couple's lives. A child requires, no actually, demands the attention of both parents!

It is obvious a child will hinder any part of your intimacy, your sleep routine, your time alone together, and so many other aspects of your life before this child was born. In my view, to say you have now become the "least" important part of the family is selfish. You are still very important to your lady and now even more important to your child! So what if you are not the "most" important. That is what having a child means. The child is and should be very important to both of you regardless of your own selfish wants.

They "both" depend on you as the man to support this now growing family, to care for them, to make them your first priority. Why does having a child take away any part of being best friends or husband and wife? Just because you are now parents does not end how you feel about each other. I am mystified as to how adding a child ends you being best friends and husband and wife? I see this as adding yet another best friend to our lives. Our child will become just another part of my life in which I will show just how much it means to be their father.

Adding a child does not tear down a romance or a relationship! It is either one of you only thinking of yourself and not your "family" that does! I would expect my lady to put my child's needs before my happiness. That is what parents do for their child. Our child requires us both to nurture, to teach, and to give them all the attention they need. Sacrificing my own happiness for the sake of my child goes without saying. I do not see this as me losing anything! I gain the love of my child, the joy of being a parent and the respect of my wife for loving them both.

Having a child only destroys a woman's romance if the man allows it to happen. Seeing your child as a hindrance to any part of your intimate life or your life in general is a personal issue. A child will not always be... shall we say.... in the way of you and your lady's intimacy or happiness. It takes patience and understanding on both your parts to make the time for these aspects.

Any man who uses his child as an excuse to cheat, drink, or treat their lady with such disrespect. Thinks she simply cannot see beyond the life of their child is a man who has no desire to make having a child anything more then a misguided reason to do so. It is this man's own selfish need to be the most important that makes everything fall apart not a woman loving her child.

It is a man's own self worth and pride that gets in the way of life with a child. To feel betrayed and blame the woman for your own "need" to be the power behind a family is archaic and out dated in this modern world. It is a man's own foolish thoughts of needing to be number one or king of the castle that has ruined so many beautiful relationships and marriages.

Accept the fact a child will require attention when they are sick, hurt, or scared. So do not feel betrayed if she leaves you at any given moment to attend to your child. My question is this. Why are you more concerned about your own happiness and not the welfare of your child?

Blaming a woman for an inherited trait of maternal bonding to a child is wrong. It is the man who needs to accept life with a child is going to be this way and get over himself. Children may not be the most important part of a family, but the attention and nurturing they require is!

To make a woman feel guilty for giving a man a child and then blame her and your child for all that is wrong in their lives is a man who cannot accept or understand what it is to be given such a blessing in their life. Having a child is adding to the legacy of the man and in this it should be seen as a gift not a burden.

How any man can look at a woman with a child and not expect her to value her child as very important confuses me. To only see a woman who says her child is her whole world as a woman who is only looking for a man to support her is the mentality of a caveman!
It is this man's own view of life and women that has caused so many beautiful relationships to fail! Women who have children and are alone in life seek a best friend and a lover in the man they will call a husband just the same as a woman without a child does.

It is not only the woman some men think this way about, but the child she has that is not his own. The child is the real issue and they blame the woman for their own inability to open their hearts and accept every part of this woman. That means her child as well.

Children are not to blame for anything which goes wrong in any relationship. It is both the man and the woman who did not have the patience nor the understanding of what it would be like adding a child to their lives. Put the blame where it truly lies and think about the fact you did not think it through completely before you brought an innocent child into this world.

Like I said this is just my opinion on the matter and it is not intended to be directed at any one person or individual. It is a very broad response to what I have read here. I took what I read and in as much gave my reply to this.