I spend my time reading a lot of the blogs here while I await my future bride to come online to meet me. I have seen so many concerns about the seriousness of both men and women regarding the status, devotion, and commitment of relationships. I wish to give my "two cents" as we say in America on these topics.
1.) The topic of whether men or women are real!
This seems to be the biggest concern for so many here on this site. It is a very legitimate concern if both the men and women are looking for a very serious relationship. We are being bombarded with negative comments so often and this puts anyone on the defensive at the very start. It is not being rude, untrusting, or sneaky if a man or a woman does a complete check of the background of their future mate. I would expect anyone to want to be absolutely sure of the person they intend to spend the rest of their lives with.
If and when you both decide to start getting serious about a future, then it is most likely going to be at this point contact information will be shared with each other. This is the point at which you inform one another that a complete check of the background will be done. Do not take this as not being trusted! It is vital to know all you can about anyone you will spend your life beside.
Knowing this information will avoid costly delays or issues later if you do plan to marry. All you will discover about each other is going to come out when a marriage visa is applied for anyways! Be prepared and take things slow but very seriously. This is your future together and it is imperative to have no doubts about one another!
2.) Women with children!
This has become a big topic here and varying opinions have been given. Ladies, if you have children and are looking for a future husband it is a good thing to include at least one photo of you with your child or children. Let the men see you with them. Any man who sees this and contacts you is and will be very aware he will also be accepting your children into his life. Do not become discouraged if the men you contact do not reply. Some men are not looking for a pre-made family. There is nothing wrong in this. It takes a very dedicated and serious man to accept a family like this into his life. And ladies do yourselves a huge favor and take the time to read "all" of a man's profile before you contact them.
Men, you can help these ladies a lot by adding into your profile the fact you will or will not want children! Tell the ladies the simple fact of whether you wish to pursue a relationship with a woman who has a child. It is not being rude, it is being honest!
3.) Men who do not reply to letters or in chat!
This is a very common issue with a lot of the women on this site. It is imperative and vital that you women understand the men here get letters or chat invitations daily! It would cost a king's ransom to answer every one of you! You simply cannot assume just because a man does not reply to you that he is "fake", a "player", or any of those other insulting comments levied at them! To ever call a man here such things and then expect him to reply to you is foolish! Stop and think of a few things before you let your assumptions get in your way!
a.) He may not be interested in you!
b.) He may be here to talk to a lady he is in a relationship with!
c.) He may be overwhelmed by your persistence!
Do not assume "all" men are the same and all they want is sex! Approaching a man with your first letter or chat request with this topic from the very onset can and will drive any "gentleman" away from you! Take into consideration that you are looking to become a bride here and the image you portray at the onset will be with a man for life! I cannot speak for other men here, but being so open and provocative about intimacy at the very beginning of a possible relationship is not a good idea. Think about this and remember you both are looking to build a future together! Do you really want to build it purely based on intimacy?
All I have said does not just apply to the women! Men must also consider these issues and understand any woman you write to who does not reply may have the same thoughts as well. To sit and constantly write a man or woman who does not reply to you is wasting your time and is turning them away from you.
Simple solution for both.... respect the fact you do not get an answer and move on! If they do not reply there is a very good reason for it! Take their silence as the answer to your question of whether they are interested or not! Obviously if they do not answer you after two or three attempts then they never will!
Building a future relationship on a site like this takes time, patience, and common sense. Do not be pushy, in a hurry, or assuming! There are many men and women here and to let your own assumptions cloud your common sense is not going to meet with favorable results. Do not lose out on the chance you may not see because you are spending your time writing to someone who simply has not ever answered you. You are going to only hurt yourselves in the end and this is not what you came here for.
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