Have you ever been out on a date with a woman and gotten the feeling
she’s not listening to anything you’re saying? Trust me, she’s trying
very hard to focus on the words coming out of your mouth. However
she’s much more preoccupied by all the thoughts running through her
head. She’s ten steps ahead of you and will most likely spend the
entire date trying to predict the answers to the following questions.
7 Who will pay the bill?
Women start stressing about this as soon as you both sit down at the
table. Will you be offended if she doesn’t offer to pay (ungrateful
bitch!) or will you be offended if she does do the slow-motion “let me
get my wallet” move? Put her fears to rest by telling her to order
anything she wants (on or off the dollar menu) because this meal is on
you.
6 What happens next?
Everything is going super great on the date and you’re happy that
J-Date finally pulled through for you. However, she’s debating if you
expect to come home with her or if you think she’s a giant slut for
even thinking that. Make your intentions clear from the outset by
subtly sliding a handful of condoms across the table and mouthing
“later.”
5 Do I actually like him?
You’re funny, charming, and good-looking in the candle light. As you
tell another hilarious story about the time you set you set a pledge
on fire in college, she’s trying to decide if she wants to date you.
Solve this problem by making her fall in love with you immediately.
Instant love can generally be created by making sure she has endless
drink refills.
4 Am I making sense?
As she rambles on about co-worker drama and its relationship to
problems with her mother, she’s simultaneously asking herself what the
fuck she is talking about. She wants to make a good impression — and
in an attempt to do so continually finds herself telling stories with
no end. Save her the embarrassment by constantly interrupting with
your own semi-related stories.
3 What is he looking for?
Whether you went on this date looking for a girlfriend or looking for
a one-night stand, you know exactly what you want. Now she’s
attempting to interpret what you want by over analyzing everything you
say. Stop making her read between the lines by spelling it out for her
— “my friends dared my $100 to ask you on a date, after this I will
never see you again.”
2 What will my friends think?
Women get off on judging each other, especially their very own
friends. Even if she is falling madly in love with you, she’s still
thinking about what her friends will say. Assure her that her friends
will love you by being extra-good-looking, extra-funny, extra-nice,
and extra-rich. It’s truly that easy!
1 Do I still look okay?
She left her house with perfectly straight hair and smudge-free
make-up. However you’re now halfway done with your ribs dinner and
she’s stressing about what’s in her teeth and how to get that lump of
sauce out of her hair without you noticing. Make her feel more
comfortable by smearing sauce all over yourself to the point that
you’re asked to leave the restaurant for lewd and indecent behavior.
But not depends allt hese things, we have to date and be happy!
Ekaterina