When someone needs words of encouragement from you, there is no need to try to share feelings of panic, sadness and other negative emotions with the person - this only increases the level of cortisol in your interlocutor. Your goal is to reduce anxiety and calm your loved one.
The main rule of competent support is not to focus on the situation that causes stress. If you “sprinkle ashes on your head” and beat yourself up or a loved one in every possible way, this will definitely not improve the psychological state of the victim.
The first thing you should do is acknowledge the emotions and feelings of your interlocutor, make it clear that you really understand how difficult it is for him and are determined to provide all possible help.
It is very important to maintain a balance between emotional support and healthy indifference. If you become too deeply involved in the experiences of another person, there is a chance to truly feel their feelings and begin to experience exactly the same negative emotions. In this case, both of you will need words of support in difficult times.
If everything is fine with the balance, and you have found the right tone, the time has come to say those very words of support. It is important that these are not some general phrases, quotes from characters from books and films, said in an indifferent voice with a neutral facial expression. This is unlikely to work positively.
Words of support during illness, stress, grief and in any other difficult situation will definitely work if you connect your phrases as much as possible with the person who needs help, with his life and what is happening to him at this very moment. Supportive phrases should be persuasive, personal, and reassuring. They need to be spoken in a soft, caring, but at the same time confident tone.
Below are words that will really help to console and encourage your interlocutor in a difficult situation for him.
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