Rule #1. Picture of the world
Each person has a certain idea of ​​what life, family, children, recreation, etc. mean to him. When starting a relationship, many couples forget to share their view of the world. They forget to talk about the picture of the world in which they would like to live. This rule helps, even before getting married, to understand how harmonious you will be. If you are already married and are faced with a lack of understanding of what your other half wants, then this rule can help you find family happiness. Just start a conversation with each other and talk about your picture of the world.
Rule #2. Hear me
Do you know the difference between listening and hearing? We can listen to anything in the background. We can listen to a melody, the murmuring of a stream, the sounds of nature, etc.But to hear means to delve into what is being said, to try to understand the interlocutor. In families, spouses often do not hear each other. There are two reasons: they don’t know how to do it or don’t want to. Try to listen carefully to your other half. If you don't understand something, ask counter questions. This will also make your partner feel like you are really paying attention to what he is saying and whether he is telling a story or his experiences.
Rule #3. Let me breathe
What does it mean? This means take away the control. It is enough that for natural reasons we were controlled by our parents and when we get married, we want to be full with our partner, and not in the role of a controlled object. I have repeatedly heard phrases from clients: “I don’t have enough air in our relationship,” “I’m suffocating from control, as if I’m being held by the throat.” Try to give more freedom to your partner. Don't control his every move. Spouses control for two main reasons: this is a scenario from childhood or lack of trust in their partner. Both of these reasons need to be addressed.
Rule #4. Give me what's mine
Even if you're married, that doesn't mean you have to live each other's lives. For harmony in the family, each spouse should also have their own personal life, their own space. This could be anything from hanging out with friends, playing football, fishing, or building a tree house for meditation. I would like to note that I am talking about harmony, which means that using your personal life (fishing, football, friends, etc.) should not take precedence over your overall family life.
Rule #5.Our common
It's great to find common hobbies or try to accept and understand the hobbies of your other half. Does your husband like football? Try watching it with him. It is quite possible that you will like it yourself and become an avid fan along with him. And most importantly, each time he will have less and less desire to go to his friends to emotionally root for his team. Even better, invite his friends to visit you along with your spouses and go on an exciting journey together to the country of “Football”.
Does your wife like romantic films? Try watching them with her. Buy a bottle of wine, cook dinner, set the table and invite her to a romantic movie night. Let her choose a movie, hug her and watch a melodrama with her. Clue. From the films your spouse watches, you can understand what exactly she is missing in the relationship.
The most important thing is that you have a desire to fulfill each other's needs.