How to resist psychological violence
1. Leave the abuser and break off the relationship
Of course, the most effective way is to get out of a relationship with such a person and never return to it. But some “victims” of charming narcissists get hooked on the emotional needle and are unable to leave on their own, becoming stuck in such relationships for a long time, or even forever. Some are more afraid of divorce, worry about how they will raise a child, and are afraid that they will violate the stereotype that a “decent woman” must have a husband. Some people simply don’t know how to end a relationship with an abuser—in such cases, it’s better to turn to a psychologist for help.
2. Discuss the problem
Try to talk about your unexpressed negative feelings, emphasizing your rejection of the man’s unacceptable behavior and statements. You should not speak in an accusatory manner, but from an I-position, for example, “I feel humiliated when I hear such words from you.” This, at least, will allow you to convey your feelings to your partner in a peaceful manner and, if he is not completely devoid of empathy (and he is not a nuclear psychopath), but simply a person who was traumatized at one time, he is obliged to hear.
3. Change your behavior pattern
The abuser expects total obedience and submission. In a situation where he does not receive this, or begins to feel that the “victim” is slipping away and does not want to play by his rules, he turns into an unctuous suitor. He resumes candy-bouquet behavior and strives to “tame” his victim again. For this to always be the case, you need to constantly keep your distance so that he feels that he could easily lose you at any moment.
4. Understand your psychological problems
To understand why you got into such a relationship, understand your own feelings, because when they hurt you emotionally or at least feel uncomfortable, but you endure and agree, this indicates some psychological internal problems, attitudes that make you consider suffering a habitual state. This is not exactly psychologically healthy. You need to “recover” your beliefs.
5. Understand your partner’s psychological problems
The abuser, although a tyrant, is actually afraid, in general, of everything that his relationship partner is afraid of. This could be a very traumatized person. You can try to clarify this in a very trusting and safe atmosphere, he may start making fun of you, but you should stick to the chosen tactics and openly, voicing your feelings, conduct a dialogue.
6. Make him understand the radical nature of further measures
A partner prone to emotional abuse must understand from you that continuing his behavior in the future will inevitably lead to the breakdown of the relationship, which you should initiate. This information can be conveyed in a calm manner, but, in fact, only once, because leaving the relationship and then returning after another apology will be absolutely pointless, and the abuser will understand that you cannot make a decision. He will continue where he started.
7. Become financially independent
It is useful to be financially independent from such a partner and have an escape route in the event of an inevitable separation. The abuser does not tolerate independent individuals. At the same time, if you are financially dependent, he can reproach you for the same. Don’t give him the basis for oppression, earn your bread yourself.
8. Don't make excuses
In a conversation with an abuser, hearing accusations against you, you cannot make excuses, this incites him even more. You need to confront accusations with reasoning, confidence, and end the conversation first. This approach may discourage him, but he is unlikely to continue.
9. Don't get emotionally involved in his game.
“Victims” have a tendency to turn on and experience a neurotic feeling of guilt that is inconsistent with reality. To prevent this from happening, you need to remind yourself that objectively there is nothing to blame you for, you have not done anything shameful or reprehensible, and therefore there is no reason to experience this feeling. You need to build your confidence in this through changing your beliefs. Because guilt is the emotion that the moral rapist loves to play on.
10. Show indifference
This method is quite manipulative, but abusers do not tolerate indifference in their direction, they begin to fear that the “victim” will slip away, and again they spread their nets, “turning on” the insidious seducer. Of course, it is impossible to build long-term healthy relationships on demonstrative indifference, but it is quite possible to reduce the intensity of emotional pressure for some time.

11. Suggest a joint trip to a psychologist
Try offering your partner a joint visit to a family psychologist in order to understand the reasons and develop new interaction strategies. Do you doubt whether it is possible to cure a male abuser? It’s possible, because his behavioral pattern can be extremely inflexible, but sometimes this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t need you, he just doesn’t know how to do otherwise. If there is a need for change in the rapist himself, his behavior can be corrected.