I've read near a 1000 letter's. Thank you for writing them.
I learn and grow from every letter. Most letters give a personal detail of fears they have or questions.
Even though I would love to answer them all. I just can't .
Many letters deal with personal experiences you women have had. With men from your country or from meeting. Or from exbfs or ex husbands.
Many of you express fear , doubt or question the validity of men from other areas . Which is truly understandable.
But the realization must set in, that there are good men.
One of the most common mistakes women make is holding their new man. Accountable for their past choices or disappointments in the men in their lives.
It's the same as holding a innocent person guilty for the crimes of others . You know they didn't commit.
Often women have tendencies to test and retest men. Most every man knows these tests. So they are completely invalid . By doing them your jeopardizing your opportunity to meet a good man through toxicity on your behalf.
Whenever I see or hear a woman doing this. Gives me a clear impression she is not truly healed from her past. And isn't ready for a great relationship. Life is far to short to pay for sins of another when your innocent.
By all means you must be rational and be wise.
You also have to realize many men have been hurt, betrayed and used like you have. Men often have fears about women from abroad. What could they be ? She's crazy, bad temperament, jealous, insecure, running from her past, is in it for money ( gold digger) , using the man to get citizenship then leaves him for another, having a family with him deciding she's moving home with the children, being stung a long for gifts or money, you being an agency girl who gets paid just to write letters to him. Having no serious intentions with him. Living with a boyfriend , husband your trying to flee from, and much more.
Yes us men have fears and worries like you women do.
This is why both parties need to be extremely frank with one another. For the best possible relationship.
Yes there are good men and women as well as bad. How does one truly know?
Well over the years many techniques have come into play to find out if the person is legitimate or not.
But only use them if your absolutely certain your not being dealt with fairly.
Some good tips is they should be willing to show you how they truly live. By the inside of their home. Do not believe it will make you look bad. It's a true showing of honesty. After you get the persons private information through the site. Both of you should be able to show each other more private access into your lives. If one refused well then you know they are hiding something. After all if your serious about moving there. Wouldn't be a clever idea to see how you both live? So you both can see what the person is truly like.
If one person shows no interest in how you live . That's a clear indication they are not who they claim to be.
Personally the last thing I would ever want is feeling so betrayed by me. They feel deceived intentionally . Not a great way to start a relationship.
By how someone lives is not activities or things they do. It's about routines in their daily life. Don't worry about being judged. Because if you are then you know that person has a weaker or no emotional attachment to you.
Another great thing is to do is find out what type of job they have in detail. What are their real duties not sugar coated excuses.
Everyone's jobs give you a great insight to their personality as to who they truly are.
Not degrees or what they went to university that tells you nothing more than an interest.
Every profession has its own set mentality. A man who works a physical job is going to have a far different mentality than a man who works with his head.
The same applies with women. It will also give you a good indicator as how they see their world around them.
Ladies all the stories you hear that are good. Are because those women were clever. But also they were wise enough not sit idly by when the right man appeared to them. They acted and they did what was required to get that man. If your waiting for Prince Charming to show up? You will die of old age or be forced into two other categories. One is being a lone for the rest of your life. The other is for settling for less than you deserved.
I repeat do not use the woman card. It's been so over played it will burn you in the end.
Men don't play the macho man card or you will get burned.
I found that women who won't divulge anything about their parents. Are truly not serious! Same with men!
Your parents are your building blocks. The foundation in which you stand. By being overly private about them . Tells me your 1 not proud of them or you do not get a long with them. The same goes with men. Even family members!
A person who is truly committed will share everything with you the good or bad. Why it's simple ! Your going to meet them someday. And they will want you to look your best in front of their families . Instead of looking like a fool. Because it reflects poorly on them.
Your not just marrying a person your marrying into a family!
Wouldn't it be nice if everyone got a long from the start.
Also have plans not for trips dreams or homes. But where will you be in 5 , 10 years or more. If a person has no details they are not ready. Then compare on where their plans are according to yours.
See where compromises can be made.
If a woman mentions a common law wife. That tells me she has a exit plan for the relationship. Which says to me she expects us to fail . She's keeping her options open . Same with any man saying that to a woman.
If I wanted a roommate I could have one here so easy it's frightening. I do not need a roommate!
The littlest things you say in a letter are buzz words that tell a person who you are literally.
My biggest annoyance is women writing letters to me. About how men treat them like sexual objects. Yet they wish to talk sex with me. Have photo's that are sexually explicit on their profiles or send them in a letter. My reaction is are you serious ?
Maybe in Ukraine or Russia according to several letters I received is how many women use sex to obtain grades, personal items , pay checks, promotions and more. That will never work in almost every country I know. So if you are doing it you need to change that mentality. Don't give me you don't know how hard it is letter!!!! I do know Ukraine and Russia a lot better than you believe I do.
With saying that also tells you I still recognize the quality of people there. Other wise I wouldn't be on this site!
One of the greatest fears men have is your involved with him. And another man or family member says to him. I know her from some where. Then they tell him how and it's not good.
Your relationship just went down the toilet.
So if your writing a man about sex , sending naughty photos. He knows your doing it to many other men. So it's not that special to him!!! Nor is he special to you!!! You can tell him anything you want on this he will " never" believe you !!!!
He will just pretend to!
Be real be who you truly are!!! Describe your annoyances with people. What you like, love about people , places or things .
When you say bad habits define them . That's to generic of a term.