It all started 30 years ago. Women in the US started to use as they called glamour photos on dating sites. Then progressed to Europe and Asia.
Men went to meet them with high expectations. Only to find out they didn't look so glamourous . Men felt betrayed by this . Men took it as lying and very deceptive . Then photoshop came out and men again felt betrayed yet again.
It wasn't just that but also they used old photos. It happened to me as well. I went to meet a lady. I walked right by her, didn't know who she was. Her photo clearly vastly different from her online profile. Her photo she was blonde in real life she was a red head. Plus her physical appearance was vastly different from her online photo and how she looked in real life. ( I know men do that as well).
Men also realized that women will take hundreds of selfies until they get that one that they desire. And use the Creme da la creme of her photos.
Hiding her physical flaws. I understand why a woman would do this. But I do not agree with it.
Also things men found out is women always have great face photo's. As my male friends found out. If there was only face photos . The woman is hiding something. Or if it was a crop photo . It told them she most likely was with another man in that photo.
Men also have learned to look at all the photos on a profile . Many men look at the hands for rings on her ring finger.
You wouldn't believe how many times I've noticed a ring on a ring finger in a single photo or a tan line or marks on her ring finger.
Then if a man is curious he will then ask her what year she got divorced. That tells the man how old that photo could be.
So when men ask you for a selfie then are asking to see the real you! Men hate distant shots of you, wearing sunglasses , yes you can wear make up. But they want to see you in everyday life.
If a man asks you for a current selfie he is serious and really into you.
He is curious how you will look in the morning. Yes men are physical creatures.
But men live by strict rules in life. Where women have gray areas. You can see this clearly in sports.
My main point here is everyone wants to be on the same level field with one another.
No one is perfect no one will ever be . But wouldn't you want to have a man love you for who you are not an expectation to be disappointed later on?
With societies every where no one completely trusts anyone any more.
Isn't it best to be yourself and have that other person fall in love with you like that . Instead of illusion or fantasy in their head only to be disappointed upon meeting.
Life is short your life time and mine are to valuable to waste. It's about respect decency and moral fabric in which we were created.
Do I expect my woman to be perfect ? Good grief NO ! I want to love her for all her little flaws , like she will love me for mine. Together we will find strengths in those flaws as we help each other and compromise together. Life is far to difficult to play games with another's life.
Don't we all want a relationship based off simple and easy ? Where we struggle less and are happier.
The reason marriages lasted years ago is they had to be real with one another on every level. Today people seem to want the upper hand. Yet can't rationalize why their relationships fail or they can't find love . They didn't place lofty goals, expectations , failed ideologies of wealth or success. Instead they looked at each other saw what they had to work with. Then built a solid foundation of trust , devotion , loyalty , and a never quit attitude. That's old time love !!!!
If your trying to take a short cut to gain success, riches, or a higher status well that's just extremely bad karma . You will be facing enormous difficulties on that journey . Only to find results you least desire at each ending.
Because when your partner figures out you have or had an ulterior motive. You will lose their trust and respect. Once lost it can't ever be refilled to its previous level .
That goes with both men and women. Doesn't matter age , ethinicity , where your from , rich or poor. It goes both ways.
Love is not a gift ! Or a blessing! It's given to you through hard work on honesty, morals, ethics , character, respect , determination and more! But both people man and woman have to contribute equally on this in a relationship.
You can buy a woman a great gift. But if it's because you did something very wrong. It still won't make what you did forgivable! You can cook a man incredible meals , the best sex and it doesn't make it forgivable.
People need to realize people have memories. Yes over time they forget a little by little. But it still a small part that remains in their memory.
I'm not saying people don't make mistakes that's being human. But really huge mistakes against your spouse or family are costly.
That's why people more now than ever have to relearn to be human again. Start treating everyone with fairness and respect!
Also if your married and you have a business your spouse should know everything about that business. Why if something happens to you. They need to know how not only protect your interests but protect your family as well!
That's why spouses need to best friends!
A man should know everything a woman does in their home and how to do it. The woman needs to know everything a man does equally . That's called a true partnership.
That's starts out from the very beginning building a bond of trust .
It's our, we, us , both of our jobs ! Not his or hers , my , mine , I in any relationship.
So when you read a profile exchange letters it starts instantly . So represent yourself for who you are in your profiles!
Sites like these cost money to men. Men are frugal with money for the most part.
They have learned to be very clever !
The women are as well. Leave the games on a board game. Be real be yourself !
Just remember some people look very photogenic in pictures some are not.
Some look better in real life verses the camera. So keep an open mind!
Don't turn it into a job interview but an exploration into each other's lives, cultures and beliefs. Which can be completely different than yours or similar. Look past likes and things in common . Get to the core of the person. Then you will know they are right for you. Challenge them on taboo subjects to see where they stand. Don't offend them but learn from them. You want a happy long lasting marriage don't you ?
So instead of asking basic questions get to the point. But be respectful as well use tack!
Don't use introduction everyday questions like you would like a neighbor , friend or coworker . Be frank !!!
This is your life !!!