When a person views the opinions of others as the only correct ones, most of the time, their own desires remain unfulfilled, and they end up feeling unhappy in the world.

We all live in a world that influences us daily, and there’s nothing we can do about it. The only way to avoid it completely would be to move to a deserted island and cut off all communication with the outside world. However, even there, one would have to deal with the weather and other natural factors. In other words, while we can't eliminate external influences, we can change our attitude towards them.

One characteristic of our thinking is the ability to compare. When it comes to the influence of others' opinions, this ability comes to the forefront. Those who want to influence someone often start by comparing them to others, frequently devaluing and criticizing the person in the process.

Judging others is a harmful habit that we acquire in childhood, when we were taught that we must behave well (according to adults’ opinions), not as we wish. Those who didn't follow this were judged.

As adults, people continue to judge others because they believe that only their way is right. They judge everyone and everything to maintain their self-esteem.

But there’s another side to this coin. The more a person judges others, the more they tend to judge themselves. When they judge themselves, it’s unpleasant (painful, offensive), and they start looking for someone to tell them what’s best to do, devaluing their own ability to find a solution. They begin to hope that someone else knows better how to live, build relationships, find work, and conduct business.

It's often said that using others’ experiences can be beneficial, and this is undoubtedly true, but it needs to be adapted to one’s own life. More often, people tend to simply copy. Sometimes, they may achieve something valuable this way, which convinces them even more that others are always right.

After failures, a person who has devalued their own viewpoint will naturally compare themselves to others and, as a result, judge themselves again. This creates a vicious cycle, and the habit of judging becomes a major obstacle to making independent decisions.

Stopping the judgment of oneself and others is difficult, but it is essential to become independent from others’ opinions. The result of breaking this habit is acceptance—acceptance based on one’s own values and what truly drives them in life.