This is for anyone who bothers to read it and my only intention is to release some pain that i think i bottled up for too long and maybe give someone a little inspiration from my pain.

Over a year ago now i met a women here, not face to face though just online. She's everything i need and so much more.

I made mistakes along the way, i was a dishonest and she forgave me because it's her nature. I acted like a jealous asshole and still, her nature allowed her to forgive me. She's an angel, my angel.

They say opposites attract and it's true. She's beautiful, intelligent, young, healthy, strong willed and strong minded, oppinionated, hard working, loyal, trust worthy (although it took me a while to learn that). She's artistic, happy, family oriented, selfless, whitty, a bit of a movie geek but i love that, she likes to read not only books but comics too. She likes me for who i am and not what i do or where i come from which means a lot to me.

As for me? I come from England and more specifically, a part of England where violence is an every day thing. And i'm not talking about fist fights, people die here every day.
I don't think it's possible for her and i to be more different.
But my soul is in love with her, not my mind or my body, but the very essence of my being.

I struggle with my feelings for her everyday.
She doesn't believe that love is possible without a real meeting, and i believe that if two souls are connected, it doesn't matter where in the world we are.

Despite our different ways of living and our different up bringing we are the same.
Both of us so strong and passionate. Both of us romantic and our idea of romantacism is exactly the same.
I think she loves me but she just won't say it and that's fine, but it's another thing we have in common, though if i'm wrong about that then i guess i'm an idiot.
We both like to be playfull, our ideas of a nice evening together are never conflicted it's always something we would both like to do.
There is more more to us than just having some similarities, we share a heartbeat, like two swans who spent a lifetime together))

She worries about me often and it's something i wish i could change, but what's my alternative? To stay inside the house like a shy turtle? I can't do that i have to much energy.
But one of my biggest fears right now is, will i die before i have a chance to meet her? I don't know, i guess it's possible and this is the reason i told her that i love her so many times, so that if i do die, she knows how i felt. I don't mean to be grim i'm just keeping it real.

I'm not done yet, so if you made it this far thanks for reading))

Life in general is good, very good. If you're the sort of person who is often depresed then get of your ass and do something about it, depresion is not a illness it's a mind set that you choose to have. If a man like me can find a way to smile everyday then you can too because trust me, you don't know what a hard life is. Come and spend a week on my block and you'll see how good your life is.
I love life, i'm greatful for every step i take and every breath i inhale. I appretiate such small things as a bird singing in the morning, or the rain tapping on my window, the sound of a waterfall, it's beautiful.
I'm greatful for my strength of which i have enough to share.
But most of all i'm greatful that God gave me love and compasion. Without it i would be a very different man and i'm in love right now because of God, he gave her to me at a time i needed her the most and i prey that he doesn't take her away from me, i lost too many people who i loved.

This tale of two souls, both hers and mine, is only just beggining. It's the start of a love story that Shakespear himself could not write. It's the start of something so special that i would give my life to protect.
I will marry this women, make a family with her and give our children everything that i never had. And do you know why? Because she is my soul mate. The apple of my eye, the very reason for my existance.
She was made for me and i was made for her.

Okay now i'm done, but one more thing before i go.
If you feel lost one day in your heart, reach out and prey. Don't laugh i'm serious, because no matter if you believe or not, God loves you. He doesn't want you to suffer, all you have to do is talk to him and he listens trust me. Don't ask for anything from him that's not how it works, besides you should probably start with "Dear Lord, forgive me for my sins, i know not what i do", or else your words will fall on deaf ears. Just try it, i swear he will lift your spirit))

Oh, wait, one more thing. Don't be so sceptical about falling in love long distance. After all, it's the personality that we fall in love with and this CAN difinately be seen with honest communication, you just have to let it happen.
And guys? Don't try to impress the women, be yourself and don't be greedy, dedicate your time and money to one women only or i will personally kick you ass.

God bless you all and good luck to you in your search i hope you all find a love as beautiful as mine.
And thanks for reading))
Kind regards. Dan