I have been a member of this site now close to 4 years. In this time I have been written to by many ladies. Some very sweet and kind, some a bit upset about not getting replies, and others who seem to think frank topics are the way to get my attention.

What I submit in this post is just my opinion and some may agree and others may not. That is fine. We all have our views on love, life, and relationships. I just turned 52 on the 24th of this month and pride myself on possessing values that have been taught to me by generations of my family. Values handed down over time and have stood for what my family and I believe in very strongly.

Firstly I want to make it very clear and understood I do not judge anyone for what they believe in and see as acceptable or appropriate. I have seen countless chat post and letters to me asking very intimate questions and being told about various desires ladies have for me. I have also been asked what I see as a strong and lasting relationship.

I know not all women read blogs here and this is sad. Those of us who take the time to express our inner thoughts and feelings here would be so much more understood if they did.

Here now is what I see as what makes a strong and lasting relationship. Again this is just my values and opinions. My own personal desires and views.

1.) I do not want to talk about sexual intimacy until we know each other very well. This is not what lasting relationships are based around. Yes intimacy is very important in a relationship, but I do not become intimate without us both having strong feelings for one another. I desire to talk about what we see in our future regarding serious life topics. Work, children, our home, and families.

2.) Love is not about romance, long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and intimacy. It is all about Compromise, Respect, Care, and Devotion. If there is no connection on this level there is no love. We absolutely must have Understanding, Communication, and Trust if any relationship is ever going to last. The romance and "sweetness" will be so much more endearing if we have the more important aspects of loving each other.

3.) I am a man who sees any lady who poses in such revealing and open photos as a woman I do not wish to be involved with. This has been a viewpoint in which so many ladies have told me I was wrong to feel this way over. I am sorry, but I came here for a wife who only wishes one man to ever see her in such a way. I spoke of trust and frankly I myself have a very hard time trusting a lady who thinks it is acceptable to pose for all men to see her in this way. When I see a lady posing so openly it sadly makes me think she is a bit to carefree about her private side. I look for a woman who desires to show me her inner beauty long before I see her outer beauty. A woman who is charming and alluring without using her body to show it.

4.) In regards to finances and money. It is a world now that requires "both" of us having to work to be able to enjoy a life together without having to worry about those aspects of life that are a constant part of any relationship. I am not looking for a "rich" woman to support me! I am looking for a woman who understands it requires us both to have a steady income to survive in my country. It does not matter who makes more. That is a value which only causes problems in so many relationships. Who cares who makes more? The main point is sharing the responsibilities of making a life together work.

5.) Who is the main in the relationship? This is another of those values I disagree with and see no reason for at all! There is no "main" in a relationship of two! It is a relationship that is "equal"! My future wife and I will discuss important matters and reach a compromise on every single one as equals and together. When one rules the relationship it becomes more about control and less about sharing.

6.) Open and honest replies to any questions or thoughts. This may be one of the most important values in a relationship. I said in a previous blog how not being completely open and honest with all you feel is only going to hurt one more in the end then ever being honest from the start. Simply explain to each other how honest you will be to one another and both of you will know what to expect when asked to give an honest answer or opinion. Your replies do not need to be hurtful or cruel, just tactfully tell each other honestly what you think and feel.

7.) There are 2 sides to every individual. No matter who you are, we all have two sides to us. A sweet and gentle side, and a not so sweet side. It is simple logic that the one that is brought out in us most is the one that is approached in us most! Insults, accusations, and jealousy without cause is a very bad way to approach anyone. All I can say about me is if you really do not like my not so sweet side then take care not to provoke this side of me in such a way. Conflict and aggression towards me will certainly be met with my not so sweet side. I am very compassionate and loving. I really do not like ever showing that not so sweet side of me to anyone. Be gentle with your words and how you approach me and I will be a teddy bear. I desire a woman who I can talk to calmly about every conflict or issue and resolve them without raising our voices and becoming aggressive.

8.) Raising a hand to a lady. This is the most disgusting and evil act any man can ever do to a lady. I have never in my life hit a woman and no matter how angry or how rude a woman treats me I never will!!!! I see any man who does such a thing as contemptible and despicable!

9.) I see marriage as a very sacred and coveted matter. I take marriage very seriously and will do all in my power to make my future wife understand it is more then just saying "I love you!" It is so vital to show my future wife why I love her. What makes her the most important part of my life. To make my future wife never regret making me her husband.

10.) The sanctity of "our" home. Sadly I could not make one woman I truly loved understand why I could not ever accept either of us ever being alone in our home with a member of the opposite sex. It does not matter how "trusted" or good a friend they are. It is just not acceptable behavior to ever be alone with anyone in our home when the other is not present. It is our home and only the two of us as husband and wife should ever be alone with each other in it. To ever think my future wife or I would think it acceptable to be alone with the opposite sex for any reason is something I just do not believe in. At work it may be unavoidable, but in our private life it is not. No "true" friend either male or female will ever ask or think it is fine to be alone with the opposite sex in our relationship. Simply said, I am the only man to be alone with you and you are the only woman to ever be alone with me in our private life. It is NOT about trusting you as my wife. It is about NOT trusting them as friends if they think it is acceptable to do such a thing.

I have opened myself here and shared what so many here have asked of me at one time or another in my time on this site. you have taken a glimpse of my inner world and understand a bit more of who I am and what I believe in. This is who I am and who I will always be. I can compromise on many things, but there are somethings I just am not able to compromise on regarding my values and beliefs.