In other words, don’t spend the greatest portion of your time and energy trying to FIND a soul mate and hoping, hoping, hoping that love will just “happen” or cross paths with you somehow. Instead, spend the greatest portion of your energy developing your own character independently ( whether you are single ) and first BECOME the kind of person that could even be capable of being a good partner at all!!

To be someone that would appear like a soulmate (happy, full of love, tenderness, understanding, wholeness, oneness, togetherness) – one must FIRST be able to bring their OWN happiness and wholeness to the table individually. Healthy, thriving togetherness & healthy love cannot exist between two dysfunctional, desperate people! Whether you or your partner bring that from day 1 or learn to bring it later in a relationship , I do really think that individual self-worth and the ability to know how to be happy independently (separate from circumstances and the behavior of others) is necessary for a thriving, healthy relationship to be at it’s best.

Advantage #1: It takes one to know one. By developing this character in yourself (& living it and breathing it) – you will be sharp at recognizing this character in others. AND! You’ll also have the self worth needed (which you’ll need in the biggest way!) to walk away from partners who do NOT have this kind of life. (And you know we’ve all been there and have been unable to walk away from a relationship when we should have… ENOUGH of that crap!!!!)

Advantage #2: Happiness and wholeness makes you RADIANT and ATTRACTIVE to the kinds of partners you would want to attract anyway.
At last you met your man/woman. 

Well, we do! But not in the sense that I thought growing up…not because we just “found” each other.

We feel like soulmates because we have worked hard to BECOME the kind of person that could be a good partner. We did that work before we even met and came to the table individually with something to offer, and we could easily tell that the other was offering something good as well. THAT CHARACTER is what we recognized in each other when we met (instead of seeing each other as a long-lost partner who was fulfilling our lack of wholeness). So yes, we feel like soulmates because we have become them….we are both on the same path in the ways that matter. Our souls are aligned. And it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced. I think we must understand it.

Do you believe in soulmates now or you became soulmate? Has your view of soulmates changed as you’ve gotten more experience? I’d love to hear.



P.P.S. Ideally a marriage shouldn’t happen if only one person is bringing “soulmate” material to the table. Ideally one will be able to recognize this and move on. Though sometimes a marriage still happens…sometimes neither partner is “soulmate” material when they get married. But there’s still SO much hope! I really believe a couple could turn things around, if they wanted it to happen. Though, in some cases, maybe only one person will want it enough.
I believe in it , and i hope if somebody think like me, write me. I will be glad .)
Nina