Hello to all! Hope your day become better after reading my blog and you will understand some things about relations and how to deal with some stuff like too high or unrealistic expectations. I think we all face with them in everyday life and especially this information is useful for men and women at this site, because you men forget that Ukrainian ladies are human beings with bad days and we forget that American men have bad sides of character too. A good definition of expectations is planned disappointment. And expectations are directly correlated with happiness, or more aptly, unhappiness. When what we expect to happen does not happen, we are disappointed and we suffer pain at some level. The greater the expectation, the greater the pain. Ironically, we are also likely to be unhappy even when our expectations ARE met! I shall explain. If you expect your spouse to help with the housework, you will be disappointed, mad, sad, or angry when your spouse does not help you with the housework, but you won’t necessarily be grateful when your spouse does help with the housework. Growing up – becoming emotionally mature – is all about how we handle the uncertainty – the incompleteness – of life. When we are able to accept and understand that this emptiness is a natural part of being human, we are on the path to a better life. The less aware we are of our own emptiness, the more unrealistically we raise our level of expectations on others. High expectations become hypersensitive and emotionally reactive. So much focus is placed on what others are or are not doing that there is little time left for self-focus. The more successfully we can lower our expectations of others, the more time we have to develop our personal sense of responsibility – and the more effort we put into living up to our personal responsibilities, the more we experience responsibility as joy and fulfillment.
The main thing no spouse can be expected to do is... live up to all of your dreams. Face it, your spouse is simply a person with strengths and limitations, wisdom and blind spots — a person who will, if you’re lucky, both charm you and annoy you for the rest of your days. No matter how loving and kind, funny, or generous, or deeply devoted, no spouse can be expected to give you everything that you want. We all come into marriage with high expectations — about ourselves, our partner, and about what marriage will be. Quite often these expectations are not articulated. Most times we’re not even aware that we have them. Frequently we assume our partner’s expectations are the same as ours. Expectations are based on a fantasy about how life is supposed to be, and, like it or not, fantasy and reality rarely match up. Most of us are inclined to think that our expectations are perfectly reasonable. Some of us even think they’re our due. The truth is, most of the expectations people have are unrealistic. When they’re not met, many think there’s something wrong with the relationship when the trouble lies with the expectations they brought. Many people think expectations set standards when, most often, they’re a set-up for disappointment or frustration.
So, dear ladies and gentlemen, if you do not want to be the reason of your own disappointment, do not set too much high goals!

Sincerely,
Larisa