Maybe the most difficult thing it's to let somebody leave... Exactly, it's hard to learn how let somebody leave and don't blame, don't feel sorry, don't make it's a great tragedy. Let the situation leave, because you can't change anything, let regrets, blame and person leave, when love has already died... But the most difficult even a thought about, in day you need to let yourself son leave and let him live and make mistakes himself... And now I feel need to give my son more freedom, I always respect his choices and support him in every of his hobbies, education and plans for future.I don't want him to choose my road, and realise something to that I did not realize in my past... No, it is his own road, it's his life,his joys and sorrows, his smiles and tears, his mistakes and his successes.
I support and give freedom in making decisions, that is why he knows, that it's a great responsibility to make decisions yourself.
I reminded time when he liked many different things, and I always were near, supporting... Ohhhhh, dinosaurs, guitar, mixed fighting, military history, swimming, football, even writing poems... Later rope-jumping, kayaking and chemistry... So many ways, so much energy, I wanted to direct him to one the most traditional and useful way... But I always repeat myself "Well, Tania,do it slowly, you let him leave and live his own life little by little"
I always give a spur to work, after school or on summer time vacations... I know all his friends, we could discuss anything he wants. My son and I are on equal footing.I know, it's the right way of bringing up... But sometimes I was really nervous and tried "to hook him on my skirt",I mean control every of his steps.
There were no positive results, but there were many many rows... Later I understood, that the most unproductive is distrust and rude stricked forbid.
Then the first love... I know this neighbor's girl. My son told me, "Mum, she really looks like you, even some habits"...
Eventually I understood, that I chose the tactics of encouragement and taking up interests of my son, and it was right but really hard to fulfill in a real life... And now I see my son is a real man, now young man,vut the man, who can make decisions and can be responsible.
And I guess, it's the main purpose of all parents...
Learn and let your kids leave...
Tania.