### How to Overcome Insecurity in Communication: Finding the "Root Cause"

In schema therapy terms, the root of insecurity in communication can often be traced to an "emotional suppression" schema. This schema teaches people to hide their true feelings and emotions to avoid judgment or rejection.

The result? They stop being open and genuine with themselves, which creates barriers to meaningful connections with others, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.

### Tackling Insecurity in Communication: A Case Study

Let’s look at the case of a client of mine, who we'll call Elena, age 25. In our sessions, she shared her struggles with communication: “I’m not very social. I think people see me as strange and awkward. I feel like my voice is too soft and squeaky. I start slouching, and I just want to disappear from shame. After this kind of awkwardness, I don’t want to see people again and avoid further interactions.”

In our diagnostic sessions, we began exploring her inner experiences. We discovered that, as a child, Elena’s emotions and needs were often dismissed or minimized by significant adults in her life. Early on, she learned to suppress and avoid her emotions as a form of self-protection, thereby developing an emotional suppression schema.

### Overcoming Insecurity: From Shyness to Openness

Supportive and caring interactions in the form of “limited reparenting” helped Elena feel safer in her sessions with me. To show her how a combination of behaviors, schemas, modes, and difficult childhood experiences were blocking desired changes, I used empathic confrontation.

Through rescripting and chair work, Elena gradually reconnected with her emotions and needs, which allowed her to express these needs more safely. She began to understand her emotions as normal and valid, and over time, her fear of social interactions lessened significantly.

To reinforce these results, we used cognitive techniques that helped Elena recognize and challenge negative beliefs about herself and others. She learned to identify and replace her automatic thoughts with more positive ones.

With the help of behavioral techniques, we improved her communication skills. This approach allowed her to overcome her fear of social interactions and build confidence in her abilities.

This successful case, utilizing schema therapy techniques, demonstrates the real possibility of overcoming communication insecurities. It showcases how to develop effective interaction skills, establish connections, and find common ground with others. 😇