You know what upsets me the most? It's not just the requests, it's a whole trend, when the external emptiness of the relationship merges with the impudent expectation of something for nothing. I want to say right away: this is not an excuse for female manipulation, but rather a reflection on the topic of trust, respect and honest expectations from another person. That moment when a man is perceived as a bank or a source of material resources with an obligatory pace of work for the result - as a victim of circumstances.

You may not believe me, but all people want a little magic. Not on the outside, not in boxes with bows, not in money, but rather in attention, to which, apparently, all these requests come down. Do you understand? I want to be listened to, to be seen not only as a request for something material, but also to be valued as a person. Of course, there are times when attention turns into a gift. But this is more out of natural attraction than from the search for good deals.

As for gifts, I can’t help but recall one incident from life. I remember how a man once wrote to me on a dating site. And after several messages, barely knowing me, he asked a question: “What kind of gifts do you like?” You know, I was a little surprised. In a way, this question seemed… even discouraging. I accepted the moment with a smile, but here’s what confused me: does a real relationship begin with someone trying to immediately buy your affection? After all, such things should not be asked for, but shared. Real gifts are created in a moment of true understanding, appreciation and respect for each other.

I probably didn’t make any generalizations about which men are right or which women are better; rather, this letter is a point for exchanging thoughts. You, probably, like me, want interesting communication without the pressure of some pre-built stereotypes. What “tames” us in people is far from the static acquisition of gifts or the simple art of giving. The deepest and most harmonious relationships develop from attention and feelings - real, not instant manipulation.

... More than once I thought about another aspect of this question: have girls themselves ever tried to start with a gift, and not with a request? Why is the opposite model so often proposed, where men initiate the gift, and women stand on the side of the recipient? It seems to me that it is important to go beyond stereotypes and social expectations.

Perhaps it would be interesting for both men and women to try to give something first, without any calculation or demands. After all, it does not necessarily have to be expensive things or something material. A gift can be a gesture of attention, time dedicated to another, sincere support, words of gratitude. I once talked to a man who actually said to me: "I don't care how much money you spend, but I would be pleased if you would just surprise me by doing something important for me." I thought: maybe this is the right key?

Sometimes it seems that a sincere desire to please another outweighs material demands. Why not start small, with gifts of attention, if you have something you can share? Help, support, do something unexpected, but still from the heart. Why not start it from the heart, without looking back at what you will receive in return?

You should not expect that all men should always give something. Why don't we try to become the one who creates moments of happiness for another?

Bye!

Lana Banana