We've all been in relationships that have brought us pain and disappointment. It's especially hard to accept when a relationship ends because the person you once believed and trusted in turned out to be not the one you hoped to see. Often, a breakup happens not because there is no more love, but because there was too much of it. All this is accompanied by vulnerability, pain, and resentment. And then suddenly - the ex appears. She comes back as if nothing happened, offering to put everything back in its place. This moment seems so tempting. But is it worth agreeing to?


A recent conversation with a friend made me think about this again. He was in a relationship that started out as a fairy tale and then turned into hell. His ex-woman left him at a difficult moment, but after a while she wanted to talk to him again. She wrote that she had grown up and realized her mistakes. But he paused for a moment and asked himself: “Do I really love her so much that I would fall into the same trap again?”

First of all, a toxic woman is not one who hides her essence at first. There are such cases. But most women with whom people enter into relationships sincerely and truly want love. The problem arises when they begin to twist reality for their own benefit or to create an external, comfortable image. And here's what you need to understand: such women are most often haunted by fear - the fear of being real. Or the fear of loneliness. Perhaps they simply cannot truly trust people and are afraid to let go of control. But what is even more important: they begin to manipulate their partner in order to feel that everything is under control, even if these manipulations are harmful.

When such relationships end, the habit of returning becomes like a trap. For such women, parting is not the end. It is just another stage. And when loneliness sets in, they need to return to their "positions" again. They start to think that you can be charmed again.

Do they forget what they broke in the process?

Do you really believe that the person who hurt you was able to realize their mistakes and that changes occurred in them? Of course, no one excludes the theory that people change, and each of us may mature over the years. But to be honest, if the relationship ended because of hateful behavior, betrayal or constant manipulation, then the chance of returning everything to its place is extremely small.

I do not argue, sometimes a return seems inevitable. In a moment of sincere longing for lost time or mutual feelings, I would like to go back, to think that "maybe everything can be fixed." But the truth is that once you lose trust, it is very difficult, if not impossible, to regain it.

Why do you deserve better?

This is an important point. Remember, you deserve respect. Regardless of whether there was a mistake on your part or not, no one should disrespect you. It is impossible to build a healthy relationship on trust and mutual understanding if it did not happen the first time. And if a person once betrayed or abandoned you, behaved cruelly - why repeat it again? Only a retreat from reality will tell you that you may deserve to try again, but inside there will be resentments.

Conclusion: no room for doubt

If after a breakup you are faced with a request or offer "let's start all over again", think carefully before opening your doors again. Realize that this may be another game, another chance for a manipulator or toxic person to use your kindness to their advantage.

Are you for or against?

Lana Banana