And then it happened. Completely unexpectedly. As if it cut me off by the roots.

We had been in a relationship for over a year. Everything seemed normal - "normal" happiness. Well, you know, at our age it already seems to reach some level of understanding. There were days when I completely believed that everything was real. I remember how much hope was invested in those days, how many small moments of joy we shared. But then one day I accidentally discovered something that I didn't expect and that changed everything.

It was as if someone grabbed my chest, squeezed and didn't let go. It was a message that I shouldn't have read. It was a letter from another woman. And although my mind knew that there was always a chance of misunderstanding, my intuition had been whispering to me for a long time that something was wrong. And here it was, confirmation. Betrayal. Your initial reaction is stupor. You don’t want to believe, you’re trying to deceive yourself. Could you be wrong? But when you start rereading these words, they seem to turn into emptiness.

I tried to justify him for a moment. Maybe it was just a mistake? Maybe I shouldn’t draw conclusions until I talk to him? I tried to calm myself down, because shock and fear were taking over completely. And it didn’t matter what the reason was, whether it was possible to warn him. All these questions were lost. The truth and the answer became ominous and squeezed in my chest.

Then I finally talked to him. I saw on his face what I didn’t want to see - an attempt to justify himself, an admission that he was wrong, that he was confused. There was no hot feeling of guilt, no collapsed remorse that I was waiting for. Just emptiness. He didn’t know how to explain it to me, and I couldn’t understand how to survive.

Many will say that you need to forgive — since this is the situation, since he repents. But I wasn’t ready to forgive. Then, when the pain was fresh, I didn’t see any conditions for myself. One thought was in my head: “You allowed this. You opened my eyes. That’s it.”

You know, at first I thought that this was definitely the end, that I wouldn’t be able to cope with it. And there were even more questions: who am I if I allow myself to be near someone who could do this? What should I go on for? Leave or stay?

And then I realized — that wild emotion will never leave me. I’m unlikely to ever forget. But I realized that now, at this moment, the pain and resentment are so strong that I just need to go through them. Don't hide from these feelings, just live through them. I decided that I needed to give myself time, even if there was no guarantee that over time my feelings for him would remain the same.

I can't say that a lot of time passed and everything became "like before". We are together again, but a lot has changed. But one thing remained unchanged - he continued to cheat on me, only with other women, and finally he got tired of hiding it and decided to replace me with a young 20-year-old girl, throwing me out on the street.

I can't say that it was right. But at that moment I realized that the ability to forgive opens new doors for ourselves.

Did I do the right thing?