Why mistakes are normal and how can we stop being afraid of them?

Mistakes... even the word itself sounds like it's better to avoid them. From childhood, we are taught to be "correct", to act "reasonably" and certainly not to get into situations that we need to get out of. But let's be honest: have you ever met a person who hasn't made mistakes? Well, I haven't either.

In my 30+ years, I've made a ton of mistakes. I started studying an uninteresting specialty just to please my parents. I left a stable job because I wanted to try something new (and I had the misfortune to do it on the eve of a pandemic). Once, I even wrote a long letter to my boss criticizing his approach, and then accidentally sent it to all my colleagues. Can you imagine my shame? But do you know what all these moments have in common? They taught me invaluable lessons.

Why are we afraid of making mistakes?

The fear of making mistakes is rooted in our upbringing. Remember your school years? "Don't cross things out, write beautifully!" or "How many times can you explain the same thing?" We were taught that making a mistake is bad, although in fact it is just an indicator that we are trying.

Over time, this fear develops into perfectionism. We set impossible goals for ourselves, and as soon as we risk falling short of the "ideal", we immediately turn away. Skipping a project because we are afraid of failing. Not admitting our feelings because we are afraid of hearing "no". Not starting to run because "what if I fail".

A mistake is not the end of the world

Let's look at mistakes differently. Imagine them as steps of a ladder. They are not perfect, they can be crooked or inconvenient, but they lead us to the top.

Once I baked a pie for my friends, forgetting to put sugar in it. Naturally, the reaction was violent (we laughed until we cried, to be honest). But this became a lesson not only in cooking. Now, before doing something, I check the details twice.

Or here is a story about my friend Anton. He dreamed of starting his own business, but several of his ideas simply failed. The last time, he lost all his savings. It seemed like it was time to quit. But Anton drew conclusions: he found mentors, received a new qualification - and now he has a successful startup that even investors appreciated.

A mistake is a tool that shows where exactly you need to grow.

How to deal with guilt?

Yes, mistakes are normal, but sometimes the feeling of guilt for them still covers me. Here are a few steps that help me cope:

1. Admit your mistake. This is not a weakness, but a strength. Saying "I made a mistake" means you've taken responsibility.
2. Focus on the lesson. Ask yourself: What is this situation trying to show me? What conclusions can I draw from it?
3. Don't put pressure on yourself. Remind yourself: a mistake is not an outcome, but a process. Give yourself time.
4. Share with someone. Often, our environment (friend, girlfriend, partner) can support us and point out things that we are missing.

Conclusion

Mistakes are life. And the faster we learn to accept them as part of the path, the easier it will be for us to achieve our goals. Remember any achievement in your life - there were probably trial steps, failures, or spontaneous decisions behind it.

The world is changing quickly, and our fear of making mistakes is the only thing that can slow us down on this path. Allow yourself not to be perfect. As my favorite yoga teacher says: "You fell? Great! That means you're learning!"

So next time you make a mistake, stop for a minute and ask yourself: What good can I get out of this experience? The answer will probably surprise you.