You know, I'm in my early 30s - that's the point at which many women start to reflect on their future. And I'm not the only one. At some point, we women notice that talking about children has become like an exam. For us, it can be a personal and sincere confession, but for you, it's like an alarm signal. "Oh, she wants children? That means she's looking for a "victim" to give birth to them from." Sounds harsh, right? But I hear it so often that I've probably gotten used to it.

Let me try to outline my point of view. No, I'm not talking about taking someone by the hand and dragging them straight to the registry office. Not at all. My desire is a part of me, like faith, a love of writing, or, say, a habit of adding too much sugar to my coffee. It is something personal and warm, it is not about "let's urgently implement it." Rather, it is about the fact that if you and I are right for each other, I will not be afraid of this prospect. That's all.

It seems that men often see the desire for children as some kind of "project" that hangs over their freedom. Maybe that is the problem? If so, I want to assure you: I am not projecting my future onto someone else. I grew up with values ​​where family is not about coercion, but about partnership, where one person looks at another with trust. And children? Children are not the icing on the cake of a relationship, they are just a part of life that may or may not happen, but which should not be a reason for fear.

You know, in my faith, children are a gift. I believe that their appearance in a person's life is one of the ways to feel unconditional love. If you only knew how far this is from the idea of ​​"catching" someone or "burdening them with responsibility"! It's more about sharing happiness, growing together, being each other's support - all of us, big and small, living under one roof.

I understand that you may just be scared of expectations. That if a woman says she wants children, she gives you some kind of ultimatum. But that's not true. I want you to know that thoughts like mine are not a signal to start a race. This is honesty. This is an admission that I take relationships seriously. And that means I'm ready not only to give, but also to receive - your love, your unwillingness to rush, your desire to be confident in every step.

Perhaps after these words you will still remain wary. Well, I understand that too. There is too much noise around these topics: biological clocks, society's expectations, fear of making mistakes. I myself sometimes return to them, worrying whether I am thinking correctly. But, frankly speaking, sometimes just a look or a word is enough to understand: the person opposite is also talking about the same thing. And then it becomes clear that the future is not planned point by point - it grows from the warmth of today.

Thank you for reading this far. I hope you don’t feel constrained or forced to accept my point of view. It was just important for me to share it. I am not writing this to argue, not to convince you of anything, but to invite you to a conversation. A conversation in which there is no fear and mistrust, but there is understanding and openness.

I will be glad to hear your answer. Even if it’s just a couple of lines.

Lana Banana