Recently I was standing in a room and thinking about those relationships that, no matter how much we want it, end. It doesn't matter how long they lasted: a few weeks, months, years. There is still a feeling that either you haven't grown up enough, or you haven't understood in time. Why is it so hard to let go of a person who doesn't love you the way you love them? 💔

You know that feeling, too, when one message can come back to your heart over and over again? Sometimes it seems that hope is the most terrible form of delusion that fills us to the brim. You feel torn between reality, which says "it's time to move on," and your feelings, which whisper "what if he finally understands how much you mean to him?"

Why is it so hard to admit that love is gone?

We often cling to hopes, build illusions and wait for that magical "moment of enlightenment." But it's not that simple. Love, especially if it was the first or very strong, is not linear. It is like a dusty wind - it comes quietly, leaves quietly. And we do not always have time to learn how to resist it correctly.

Every time I fall in love with someone who does not appreciate me or, what is even more painful, does not even notice me, I am overcome by a feeling of hopelessness. I can't be weak, I can't just let go, I feel like I am losing a part of myself in this expectation that maybe tomorrow everything will be different. But... it will not be.

Example 1: I remember dating a guy a few years ago who assured me that he was very busy and could not always find time for the two of us. All my attempts to "reach" him, to improve the situation, only led to me going deeper into loneliness. But it is easier to love when you hope, isn't it?

Example 2: Do you remember when you tried to change a person? You breathed into the relationship this universal desire to change, to rewrite the course of history, to believe in a miracle. This endless justification that if not for one small detail, everything could have been different...

How to understand yourself and understand that your feelings are not an indicator of self-esteem?

You need to understand an important thing: love should not be about being yourself for the sake of another. And this is not always obvious. When we begin to change in our feelings, burying ourselves in others, it is important to focus on ourselves. What prevents us from letting go? Why has love turned into a struggle for attention and why do we continue to go where we are not wanted?

I have noticed that it is the expectation from the other that is always accompanied by a feeling of a strong need - to prove that everything you give is not in vain. But I have recently realized: no one is obliged to "value" me by my own standards, especially if the value concerns only the conclusion of the relationship that is not realized in reality. 🌙

Conclusion: It's time to let go and value yourself! 💖

I have come to the realization: if there is a constant struggle for space in the relationship, if I constantly have to work for someone who does not notice or value me, then perhaps this is not the person worth spending time with.

Our feelings are not weapons with which we should run through the labyrinth of other people's doubts. Be with those who see you, who value your merits, and do not idealize the version of you that you are trying to please others.

Love is important, but it will not bring happiness on all paths. Sometimes moments of awareness come when it is much more valuable to learn to be your own best friend. Value yourself, and the world will begin to value you! ✨