Dear Oksana,

I kiss you on the cheek!
I hope you're well!
No, I'm, not your stork, and, please, stop waiting for your stork... (Wink!)
Thank you for your important, interesting blog post!
"When I was a little girl I had a very big dream !! I wanted to have a brother)"
Well, it was a truly wonderful dream! And many of us, boys, wanted to have a sister (I did not need to; she came a bit before me; the stork was faster with her...)
"I was a very persistent girl (like today) !!!"
And that's great! Persistent people often get far.
"My heart broke every day when I did not see my stork."
And it breaks my heart to learn this.
"But in my soul I'm still a little girl who is waiting for my stork."
As for still being a little girl, great! Try to keep that little girl in you, dear Oksana, especially the easily amazed, filled with wonder, playful side of her! It's priceless!
As for waiting for your stork, how could I explain that... Have you ever heard of the birds and the bees? (Ha! Ha!)
"Maybe I should dress a beautiful dress, take out food, whiskey and wait in the yard?"
As for the beautiful dress, yes, we wouldn't have it any other way! (Wink!)
As for taking out food, whiskey, waiting in the yard... Hmm, I'm not too sure you'll create a family, that way...
"Tell me) did you have such dreams as a child?"
Actually, I don't remember such similar dreams, beliefs.
Very young, I don't know if I asked my parents where children came from. I think I was strangely more interested in toys like tractors, power shovels, fire trucks... I wasn't even especially interested in girls... Stupid boy... (Wink!)
If I asked where children came from, I sure don't remember what my parents told me, but I don't remember them coming up with one of those out-of-this-world, don't-ask-me-how-come, raising-hair-on-one's-head stories.
Now, please, don't get me wrong; I'm not laughing at, negatively criticizing your parents, no more than any other parents. Not at all. I owe all parents much respect. Parents often simply behave the way their parents behaved, simply tell their kids somewhat what their parents told them. That's all. I guess it's much a question of culture, education.
When I was old enough to understand (that must have been when I was 24-25 yeas old... (Wink!)), my parents simply came out with the truth, with a good book with realistic illustrations, pictures, and patiently answered all my questions (I think I had something like 19,991 of those questions... OK, I was a bit curious, I still am...).
Why don't parents really tell kids where they come from (as soon as the kids are old enough to understand well), and, before that, why don't they come up with simple answers, explanations, as close to the truth as possible?
The question is probably more: Why the malaise with sexuality? What's wrong with sexuality?
Like many other people, in the West, I'm now very much in favor of openness, of the truth, with the right words, when it comes to sexuality, of no more myths, taboos, crazy stories. The facts. Good, simple, in good taste, well lived sexuality is natural, normal, beautiful, healthy! Sigmund Freud is one of those who awakened us to the importance of sexuality in the life of every one of us. It's a basic need that gains much in being well recognized, well lived, reasonably satisfied. Nature simply made us that way. I humbly believe that a good sexual education, as part of a good biological, psychological education is very important. Kids are naturally curious. As much as possible, let's give them the truth. When they're quite young, too young to really understand well, let's give them simple explanations, as close as possible to the truth.
I think that many people still fear that kids (when old enough to understand well, always) won't be able to take well the truth, that telling kids the truth will harm them. Experience, history show that, if well done, if the parents are at ease talking about sexuality, don't feel shame talking about it, it's the opposite, it's rather quite beneficial, healthy for the kids to know the truth (and it's good for the parents to tell it). It's even respectful of the kids, of their intelligence.
After all, it's no big mystery, no dirty affair. All women are somewhat made the same, all men are somewhat made the same. A woman and a man have sexual relations, make love so as to reproduce, have a child, create a family. It's no big deal. It's nature. And it's beautiful, wonderful! Truly wonderful (in the sense of exciting wonder)! You want to see how wonderful it is? On YouTube, look exactly for:
- Learn About the Male and female Reproductive Systems, by Iken Edu
It's one good, simple video. Nature! Beautiful, wonderful!
Now, let's get back to those storks... Oh, oh... (Wink!)
With much tenderness, wonder,
Charles