After being around 20-25 ladies who were from Ukraine and Russia. This is what I learned from them,
Men pay attention here!
The number #1 problem in all their relationships was there Husbands had not enough time for their women!
It was their wives biggest complaint.
I think my friend Oksana said it best .
If every man who married a foreign bride no matter what country! Looked at it as if he just adopted a teenager about 12.
They would more throughly think through all the things they would have to do for their woman. For she can't drive at first. She doesn't know how to use emergency services right away. And foods and cooking are completely different. The emotions and feelings every woman experiences when she is in a new country are just like a teenager.
Excited, disappointed, frustrated, bored, creative and having huge expectations.
That leads to disappointments, frustration, anger and depression. Which make your new wife become very homesick instantly. Not to mention no family, no friends doesn't know the culture. Just like a 12 year old girl is with her parents. But with a twist she mature and more intelligent than one.
Rule # 1 In marrying a foreign bride is you must have time for her at least 1-2 years after she arrives. If you can't spend the time your relationship will be a disaster for you both! The women without children suffer the worst !
So what exactly do I mean by time?
You work a normal job! Your not working over time, on weekends, spare time. You do 1 job and carry the relationship on that job only! If your counting on your foreign bride to get a job with in 6 months your a fool for thinking that ! Your marriage is over instantly. If your expecting her to get a job in less than a year again your being a fool!!! It takes 1-2 years for those women to adjust to any country! That's the cold hard truth!
If your using credit cards, retirement accounts , borrowing your money to get a wife in hopes it will all work out in the end your even a bigger fool!
If your going into debt to do this huge mistake! That will offend your new wife huge. It's like saying I soent so much money I didn't have on trips to see you, gifts, and our marriage. Then go to a immigration lawyer to get you legalized. So I need you to get a job to pay for half of this your marriage is over right there.
That's like asking your new woman to pay half on every date you went on. No woman would tolerate that behavior.
You need to be honest and be straight forward and say I got bills I need to take care of. So I'm sorry I'm not buying you flowers , candy, jewelry and more constantly . I have big expenses that are hurting me.
WOMEN LOVE HONESTY OVER GIFTS!!!
Your new wife and family is YOUR SECOND JOB!!!! First is your main job for support! Your new wife will need you about 50-60 hours a week not counting sleeping. If you can't afford the time! You need to clean up your life first so you can!
Gradually you will find harmony but it's takes time.
Now for you ladies here are the facts! In Ukraine and Russia beauty procedures are dirt cheap. But else where they are extremely expensive. Get what you need done there first. Because you might not be able to get beauty procedures done the first year married.
Also quit placing expectations of traveling and cultural experiences too on your list! Your going to be highly disappointed! Especially if you think they will happen in the first 2 years ! Your fooling yourself huge! Not even a wealthy man will do that unless he is a fool! Or your just a trophy he will lose interest in after he shows you off to his friends. ( that's not love)!
Women with children be realistic your child is going to be in school. Have obligations and things they need. How are you seriously going to find time to travel. And the additional cost put on your new husband for the both of you. Higher utility bills, groceries, women's items and more.
Also another huge mistake made by women is they will get a job send money home to their family to help them out.
Huge mistake! First you need to take care of your family , home, expenses and talk that over to your husband first. ( no secrets) your new husband is not a bank for you. Once everything is settled I'm sure your husband and you will be able if possible to help your family if needed.
Also both men and women stop the passion garbage if you think that makes a marriage work your fooling yourselves.
The harder you both work together on making your lives simple and easy. Working as a team. The more time you will have together for family, life, romance and then passion.
Time so what should the ladies be looking at ? Not about fun , things in common but core values . They have to match yours. Or according to every foreign married person I've talked to your marriage will become a nightmare.
The biggest problem is how little thought people place into the daily lives they will have. After the honeymoon stage life gets real quick.
Men should be asking themselves if my wife calls me at work. Can I talk to her in a way she understands over the phone. Leave work incase she needs me for something . I'm always amazed on how little people think of the little details.
Example grocery shopping in most of Europe is comparable to the day after thanksgiving shopping. It's like that every single day because the volume of people. In Europe most stores do not have shopping carts like in the US and Canada. So you carry it in bags. All the way home. Most people grocery shop from local markets in Europe . In the west we go to large stores. Logistics in Europe is horrible every where. The amount of people in a tightl area. Makes most people use public transportation daily. So a woman's time management in Ukraine will be vastly different that a woman from US or Canada .
This is another huge adjustment for a woman moving to any country even in Europe ! Asia is far worse! I won't even get into central and South America.
So back to time. Time is priceless the most expensive thing we use.
If you can't be there every day on call and be there every night and every weekend.
You need to clear your schedule first before getting married.
These ladies have feelings, emotions, dreams, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, expectations and more! They are human beings!!!! Yeah I know this your thinking.
Better think again! Better to live with a happy loving wife. Than a disappointed upset emotional wife.
Same with ladies you need to get real with your letters! If a person only talks about sex and passion or wit, scarasm and charm . They will not make a good spouse! Because they are not dealing with realities coming there way.
Your not going to work a full time job plus part time job, or side job, or 2 jobs and have a happy marriage . Or work endless over time to provide for your family line. It will be a huge struggle in your marriage and a lot of anger frustration and disappointment.
Oh she is a professional doctor lawyer engineer and so forth. That's for her country not yours !!!! She might have to go back to school, get recertified , obtain a licensing, pass boards or testing. That can take 1-2 years to do .
Clean your plate off for your new wife. Get rid of your debts, extra responsibilities you have, obligations!
She NEEDS YOU MORE !!!
Ladies ask him detail questions about debts, responsibilities , child support, expenses, alimonies , cost of living indexes where he lives.