At first, I thought , no,no, no, a man is responsible for his own Love, and I do believe that! I had little trouble with the language differences but had it figured out by the time I got to the end, I hope. Oksy, you are good and beautiful, and mostly right, but I think you make the woman take so much responsibility that is not really hers and you allow the man too much leeway in life.
All men have their own code for life, love, and everything else. It's sort of funny though, for some are just spur of the moment thoughts that they now have to defend because they opened that big mouth and blurted something out, without thinking it through. Maybe as they grow in mind and spirit, they will revise and change these beliefs. I still have hope for all mankind,))). I'll tell you my own code, just for your own benefit, with the hope you'll understand one man better. I think though, I will open myself for great criticism here by doing this.
I am first of all, a real man, unto myself I am real, no matter what any other's definition may be. I do not define them, or challenge them. I will play in competition with them, for that is the nature of a man, to compete and to be the best you can be. Now however, I have somehow become old. I cannot move as I once did, not so swiftly or surely as when I enjoyed my youth. I am a pilot and I fly as much as possible, single engine 2 seaters as well as jets, both large and small, and even at 70, I'm damned good at it...because I have to be. A lot of lives could depend on me and when the day comes that I cannot maintain that responsibility; I sincerely hope that I find it out, standing on the ground, and not in the air.
I think the greatest asset in my code is my ability to love! I love completely and forever! No one can take that away from me. I have vowed to protect those I love and so I will. My 2 ex wives are lucky I love the way I do; it kept me from killing them for what they did to me. So, it has benefits, even for them))). You see I believe Love can change in the Aspect of it, but never in the Essence of it. Love is an Energy and can never be destroyed. It will exist forever. I have always lived for family and Family is all I really care about or want. I love all women and all children and believe that almost everyone can be 'fixed' with enough love. I do not believe in hitting a woman or a child and never have nor will I ever do so. A man's hands are made for loving and for building, whether it be his family or a house, a ship or an airplane or for helping others, but never to destroy. Hitting a woman or a child, one time in anger, can destroy a part of that person's life and a part of their love and that hitter has lost something so precious, forever, and it is something so precious he cannot ever conceive it. But, I hope the loss hurts him forever and teaches him the most important lesson of his life. The victim may forgive,.... but she will never forget. I'll never understand how any man can hit, hurt so beautiful a creation as a woman, or a child he helped to create? You will never teach me that understanding; it does not exist for me. I need to clarify a point here,....in some women an evil so terrible as that in Satan exists. I do not understand how a woman created with the ability to bear children can coexist with that evil in her, but they do. And while I cannot take a life needlessly; I would again, if necessary, but I do believe in incarceration for them and I do not mind bearing my share of the expense for their lives. I do not judge unless it is forced upon me; I do not kill unless it is forced upon me, but a man I greatly admire once said something like: "I do not judge; That is God's realm, however I will arrange the appointment, if necessary." That is close but not exact, the meaning is the same!
So you see, I want to have a family, to live and love in peace, and I believe it can be done, if the Hitlers and Putins will let us. They, too will only be history someday. I hope for the world it is good. We can all learn to live together. I never judge or accuse, I ask questions. I'll never say, "you did this", I'll ask you first. I'll never blame you, you see, I make mistakes too. If you yell at me in anger for some foolish thing I might have done, I will say, "I love you, only you!, you know I never meant to hurt you in any way, through my own stupidity or foolishness. I only mean to love you." When I say that, what will you do? What will you do when you see my head hanging there in sorrow? Can you cease your yelling? Can you begin to see what I mean? I believe in these ways we can learn to react better to one another and really live in love. I try to now. I love you, Oksy, and every woman on this site who is searching for her heart's desire; I'm not "in love" though and it takes both. I already love the woman I want and need to share my nights with; I just need to find the One to fall in love with and who can fall in love with me. You see? I hope so, and I'm sure you can write to me if you want. I'd be happy if you did. You did a great job here and you brought to light the fact that women expect their men to love them as they love their men. ))) That ain't happenin' ))) I do agree that if you make the man love you like you love him, the woman's way of love......well, it might not remain heterosexual. So, let us be and just try to teach us in your own ways about your needs and if we can, we'll fulfil them. If a man loves his woman, he'd be a fool not to want to please her! To me, a happy woman is a loving creature, even sexually, and how can you ever have anything better than your very own Wife. So, Fellow men. if you love your wives and I bet you do, try a little harder to please them to help them to do all they feel they must do. Will it hurt you to stand beside her, listen to her and dry the dishes at the same time? I doubt it. Will it hurt you to clean the toilet that you help to make dirty, once in a while? I doubt it! Maybe someday, you'll get to do it All, and alone, as I do now, if you don't show her a little appreciation for all she does. Hell, she might even find someone like me, who would be glad for her help...instead of the other way around))). This is your chance... to make two people's lives better... yours...and your wife's and thereby, your children's too. Ah, but you're a real man, surely you neither need or want an older man's advice, and you probably won't even like the good that will come of it, will you? I do know that a happy healthy woman has a better sex life than one who isn't happy, and healthy from overwork. You live there too, don't you, or am I mistaken. For all women in this world, guys, I ask you just to try it. It can't hurt!
Ray.