Each of us experienced the period in a relationship when, instead of fluttering butterflies in your heart lives the rat-jealousy destroys you from the inside. Victory over one's self at such moments is damn hard. And so for me this topic is special! the world is not random people, not random events, but at the same time, one meeting can be fatal. Love, of course, a Paradise, but the Paradise garden often turns into hell. I had men who tormented me with his jealousy! It was a constant control! Calls to parents , friends ! Where I was and what I was doing? why so late ? why so early? why is this store? why to a beauty salon? ! Oh my God! Jealousy is a nasty feeling! Jealous — it means love? Or jealous of — so afraid to lose? Afraid of losing control and power over man? Psychologists compare the feeling of jealousy with seasoning: if a little jealousy, it makes the relationship more interesting and spicy, but when jealousy is too much, it spoils the dish of love in General. Jealous — it means nothing to know but to have a very active imagination and afraid of everything. Options jealousy endless. The consequences are also very diverse! it can strengthen an existing love, and replace it with hate, or to kill at all, leaving only indifference. It is believed that jealousy is associated with love, but how? - that is the question. St. Augustine many centuries ago, proclaimed the thesis: "who is not jealous, does not love", linking love and jealousy together, and people believed in this position and began to direct them in their lives. Another sage said, "then the man is jealous when he loves and when he wants to be loved". Thus, jealousy is not love, and the desire to have or fear to lose her, and therefore, stress. You will agree that with this approach, jealousy loses much of its appeal.
However, it is believed that the useful jealousy for love. Some psychologists even believe that jealousy reflects the level of claims personality, so deal with it harmful, because such a fight reduces the competitiveness of the person. Most likely, it's all in the proportions - even used healing medicine, can cause harm, while particles of toxic arsenic and mercury includes homeopathic medicines. So the doctor I. Shevelev brought the following postulate: "jealousy is poison in small doses stimulates love in the big kills."
WHAT IS JEALOUSY
The paradox is that often the family is a jealous husband, who was himself in the highest degree prone to treachery.
jealousy is the fear of losing pride and the fear that the other is better, and the feeling of impossibility to fully control the situation, the diminution of their significance, infringement of your self-assertion.
1) jealousy as a result of low self-esteem
The person who doubts their abilities and the external data will always be prone to bouts of jealousy, like to think that the potential opponents are always stronger, prettier, better.
2) jealousy as a result of strong attachment to man
Often the causes of jealousy are rooted in the terrible fear to lose a loved one, when it seems that with his passing the world would collapse and cease to exist. This is a very heavy feeling, which is directly connected with complexes from the past: the origins may lie in their parents ' divorce, a bad breakup with a past relationship. You, as skin is fused with a loved one, and the thought of leaving him is tearing you apart.
3) jealousy as a result of selfishness
It's the worst kind of jealousy, which are difficult to correct even with the help of experienced psychologists. Selfishness has evolved to such an extent that a loved one is perceived as a personal thing! The personality of a loved one for such a selfish doesn't mean anything.
Sometimes the causes of jealousy are intertwined and form a complex mental disorder that can be untangled only by an experienced specialist.
Male jealousy
Heavy male jealousy caused most of the man loves himself too considers himself the best and
unmatched. The idea of the existence of rival sends him into a rage.
90% of the male jealous
the woman, seeing the changes in their intimate relationships: the forbidden sex became less passionate, or Vice versa — has proposed a new pose in sex , which he never heard before.
Male jealousy is based on pride, when a man throws him from the throne, trampled, stripped of the crown. Women often suffer from low self-esteem.
Female jealousy
the woman seldom loves himself ! And all her trips to the beauty salons and shops, as well as bouts of jealousy, associated primarily with low self-esteem, the desire to get rid of their own complexes. You think too small breast size and curves of the legs? But your man on the job is probably the long-legged colleagues with lush bust, which is a hundred times prettier than you. That is the basis of such thoughts, and there is the whole picture of infidelity. I believe that the nature of female jealousy, the next manifestation!
the woman constantly need proof of male infidelity, which she is trying to find !
jealousy directed primarily at the enemy because you are constantly comparing yourself to her, digging in their own complexes!
in 90% of cases, the woman gets jealous of her man, noticing his aloofness in interpersonal relationships: stopped to give flowers, gifts, to compliment, not to notice a new hairstyle.
But with such a strange and very powerful feeling to have to fight people. Has the willpower and desire to change lives for the better — you need to deal with jealousy, to get rid of it as soon as possible, until she ruined your relationship and won't burn you to the ground.
Jealousy – is not necessarily the companion of love, rather it is a harbinger of its destruction. To overcome jealousy you need to understand what underlies it. Often low self esteem. Therefore, the most powerful cure for jealousy is to love and respect yourself, value your partner as a person!
What do you men think about jealousy? If you have thoughts on this topic ! don't be shy! To write and speak! I would be nice and interesting to know Your opinion!