We are taught from childhood: if you don’t feel it, then it’s not “real.” But is it really so? Do you need butterflies for love? Or is it just a pretty picture that we are taught to admire?

Physiologically, “butterflies” are simply the body’s reaction to strong excitement caused by the release of dopamine and adrenaline. This is excitement, passion, novelty. But you can feel exactly the same way at your first job interview or before a parachute jump. This is not necessarily about love. It’s about the thrill of the moment.

The problem begins when we begin to consider the absence of “butterflies” a failure. We think: “Something is wrong. I’m not excited, not overwhelmed by emotions. It's probably not him." And we often miss the person with whom we could be happy, simply because we didn't experience a surge of hormones on the first date.

In fact, mature feelings can begin very calmly. They come without noise. They are not always like fireworks, more often - like a warm cup of tea on a rainy day. This does not mean that there is no passion or excitement in love. They just do not have to be right away, and they do not have to be dramatic.

True intimacy is often born from understanding, security, from the desire to share everyday life. From laughter, trust and the ability to be yourself. And if you do not fly with excitement every time he writes - this is not a failure, but maybe even a compliment: you feel calm and confident next to him. And this, in fact, is rare and extremely valuable.

So no, butterflies in the stomach are not necessary. They can be a pleasant bonus, but not the only sign of real feelings. What matters is not what you feel in the first five minutes, but what you create together day after day.