Today I stood again, thinking about whether to wear a modest dress that covers the knees, simple, calm - or allow myself something a little brighter? Something that makes the gait easier, the look - sharper, and the heart - a little more restless. Stockings, heels, a mini-skirt. Is it appropriate? Inappropriate? Where is the line between femininity and temptation?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a prude. I like to feel beautiful. I like when a dress fits me as if it was tailored especially for me. I like the feeling of the light click of heels on the cobblestones of Kyiv. But the question is, why do I do this? For whom?

When you are Catholic, you have an inner map inside you, almost like a compass. Not because someone said "this is okay" or "this is not okay", but because you feel when your soul says "yes" and when it is silent. It is not always easy to trust this compass. Especially in the modern world, where it is almost expected that you should "show your goods face" (forgive me for the crudeness of the image). Especially when you go to a dating site, and the first thought is not "Who are you, a person?", but "How do I look in comparison with others?".

I am a woman too. And I am not alien to the desire to be noticed, heard, accepted. We all somewhere deep down hope that behind a photo in a dress someone will see not only legs, but also a soul. And yet, when I put on a mini, an argument begins inside me. Is this the femininity that the Blessed Virgin spoke of? Or is it something else - something that the world wants, but not God?

There is not always an answer. Sometimes I still choose that very short skirt. And yes, there are moments when you catch a man's gaze and there is interest, attraction... But you know, it also happens, you put on a modest dress, a soft cardigan, and suddenly you feel how easy it is to breathe. As if clothes are not armor or a mask, but an extension of you, your prayer, your quiet faith. Not everyone can read this, but maybe not everyone needs it.

I like being a woman. To be gentle, to be beautiful. But more and more often I think, maybe real beauty is the one that comes from peace? From confidence in your value - even if no one liked it that evening. From the fact that you choose to be yourself, and not an idea of ​​yourself.

And even though I have not yet come to a final answer. I will not tell you that stockings are bad, and modesty is holiness. It's much more complicated. God looks at the heart, right?

But every time I choose an outfit, I now ask myself not only the question: "What is beautiful?", but also another, more subtle one: "What is beautiful for my soul?"

And for now, I'll go to the mirror again. I'll try something on. I'll smile. And maybe I'll hear the answer - not from my head, but a little deeper. Where my faith lives. My femininity. And my choice.

Lana Banana