I am writing to you from an ordinary woman who decided to take off her rose-colored glasses and tell you honestly what goes on in many of our heads when the topic of your exes comes up in a conversation, accidentally or not.
Because let's put it this way - if you think that we don't care, you are very much mistaken 😉

😏 WE COMPARE IMMEDIATELY
Even if we are super confident, self-sufficient, cool - our brain automatically starts the mode: "Who is she? How am I better? Or maybe her legs are longer?" This is not about insecurity. This is about instinct. We want to be special 💫 Not one of them. But the one for whom everything is different.

😬 WE CARE ABOUT WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP YOU HAD
If you say that all your exes are hysterical, stupid, cheating... We immediately have a question: "Why were you with them at all? And who are you then?"
Because if they were all bad - that's weird 🤨And if they were all good - that's also a question 👀It's best when you can calmly say: "It was different. But now everything is different, because I have become different, and what is important to me is what we have now" ❤️

🤔 WE LOOK AT YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE PAST
If you still follow her on Instagram, throw her memes in a general chat or drink along to sad songs - yes, it's unpleasant for us 😒 Even if we pretend that we don't care. The past should be... well, the past. You can remember, respect - but you shouldn't live this next to us.

😳 WE ARE AFRAID OF A REPEAT OF THE SCENARIO
If you tell how she "cheated" you, and then admit that you cheated on her yourself - we draw conclusions. If you said that you "will never love after her" - in our heads there is a question: "And what am I here? Temporary?" 🤷‍♀️
We want to be the one for whom you are truly ready to be better. Not just to heal a broken heart 🩹.

😊 EVEN IF WE SMILE - WE ARE NOT PLEASED TO HEAR TOO MUCH ABOUT HER
We can support the conversation, nod, joke ... but inside a little worm will still curl up into a ball: "Why did he even remember this?" 🐛
It is important for us to feel that here and now is only about us. About what is happening between us, and not between you and the ghosts of the past 👻.

📌 WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT?
✅ Don't hide it if something from the past is bothering you - it's better to say it honestly than to drag it along with you. ✅ Don't idealize or devalue your exes. This says more about you than you think. ✅ Remember: every woman wants to be important to you here and now, and not "after that one" or "against that one" ❤️‍🔥
Everyone has a past. The only question is how you carry it: behind your back, or on your shoulder, like a bag that still interferes with your life.
Ilona💖