This is a question that seems to be a very big part of any dating or marriage sites. What is to be believed and what is pure fantasy. We all come to these sites with expectations and desires. Why else are we here if not for love? We begin our journey on these sites by adding a profile and giving a small glimpse at what we look for and a little bit about who we are. We put ourselves out there for all others here to see. We make ourselves vulnerable to each other and pray we find honesty and sincerity. This is where the question of reality and fantasy opens itself. What is to be believed and what seems to good to be true? In a matter of minutes we are bombarded by numerous letters in our inbox. Which of these letters are real and which are not? How can it be that so many beautiful women cannot find a man in their life? Are the men in your country blind or are the letters written not real or sincere? Here is when the overwhelming feeling of uncertainty arises and a feeling of doubt begins to grow. We all take a risk by creating a profile here and at first it is wonderful to get so many letters. It gives a sense of belonging and a feeling of being both wanted and desired. Then as the time passes it all changes. A feeling of doubt manifests itself and a nagging question of "is this real" takes hold. You begin to wonder and ask yourself is anyone here truly as serious about marriage and a future as I am? You begin to feel like a child in a candy store and so many sweet and tempting treats are begging for you to taste of them. Add to this the sheer number of scantily dressed damsels and the provocative and sexy letters and it is no wonder a feeling of desire begins to cloud your logic. What can be done about this? How do we find that proverbial "needle in a haystack" we came here to find? How do we know and understand which ones are real and which ones are not? Unless you are wealthy and have unlimited time there is no way to write and answer all the letters you receive here. You take a chance and hope the one you choose to correspond with is the right one. Is she sincere? Is she truly looking for a husband? What is her idea of a lasting and sincere future? Honestly there is no way of ever knowing unless you actually reply and begin corresponding. It is here that all things are discovered and the question of real and fantasy is answered. It does not take long to figure out if the one you chose is real or just another fantasy. The words you share, the way you talk to each other, and the way you answer each other will tell you very quickly if this is serious or just fantasy. It is common sense that anyone who avoids commitment and gives vague and unclear answers is not real! Honestly if you are as serious about a future as the one who is writing you is then there should not be any hesitations or holding back on what you write to each other. If you want a lasting relationship and seek a future marriage then you give clear and concise answers to every question, thought or feeling that is expressed. You make each other understand your sincerity and seriousness. Sure I understand that there is going to be a little doubt in us both for a while. That is normal. We are corresponding in a virtual world. Until the day we meet face to face and begin talking and sharing a "real" bond then we are always going to doubt. We are going to question whether all we share is truly sincere or to good to be true. Sadly there are those in this world who make us doubt because they are all words and no actions. They talk the talk, but do not walk the walk! They fill your heart with sweet anticipation and when it comes time to take the last step toward a meeting their true nature reveals itself. They are not real and have wasted your precious time and have all but taken your faith in love away from you. It happens to us all at one time or another and it leaves us in a situation of doubting the next person even more. I speak from experience on this and yet I do not give up on love here. I am with a very lovely lady. Yes I still questioned whether it is truly real, but day by day she is making me a believer. She makes me believe in her love and sincerity. She gives me no reason not to believe. She is genuine and sincere in her words and does not sugar coat them. She is real, direct and knows what she wants. That is what I came to this site to find. A woman who wants a husband and a future with him. A woman who knows exactly what she wants from me and what she will give in return. She makes me understand what "our" future is and takes every step with me to make it a reality. Finally I see my future as something to look forward to and not something to wonder about. I have a reason to believe again and wish all here the best of luck in their search.