To YourDreamWoman,

I feel the pain in your writing.
I look at your photo and wonder how anyone could do this to you.
At the same time, I feel the pain of it happening to me.

In answer to your question, I don't think you ever get over it.
You can manage it, you can endure it, but to get to the place you were before it happened is impossible. That egg has been broken.

It can make you terribly suspicious of anyone who follows.
You are constantly "waiting for the other shoe to drop" as we say here.
That state of total relaxation and comfort in a relationship seems totally out of reach.

My wife kissed me, then walked out the door to go on a business trip saying,"I'll see you soon."

That was January 10th, 2006.

I have not seen her since.

Although the pain is not as sharp and immediate as it once was, I am still left with self doubt, a bit of self loathing and a whole lot of bewilderment.

I sought the help of groups dedicated to helping men through this.
I sought the advice of a woman who has devoted her life to saving marriages and guiding those people whose marriages cannot be saved.

I am not whole, but I can function. I have found a woman here who gives me hope.
I will pursue her and pray that she can fill this last hole in my heart.

Blessings to you,

David