We blossom from the fact that someone notices us not as a background, but as a miracle. And at the same time ... there is something disturbing in this, especially if you are trying to live not just by heart, but by conscience.

For example, I have often caught glances - and not always these were glances with respect. But even among them there was something that made the soul tremble. You are walking down the street, and a man looks at you as if you were something delicious, as if you were beauty that he enjoys - he does not touch, does not speak, he just looks. And for some reason you do not feel dirty. On the contrary - as if you were understood as a woman. Not devalued. On the contrary - elevated. As if this look said: "You are a miracle created by God."

And then you are already at home, having tea, and you catch yourself thinking: is this normal? Were you too happy about the attention? What was it anyway - a sin, pride, narcissism? Or just a natural reaction to the fact that you were seen not as a passerby, but as a woman?

It seems to me that many men have this almost prayerful attitude towards women. It is very beautiful, and there is no vulgarity in it - as long as it is truly admiration, and not consumption. These are different things. When you are enjoyed like a flower, like the scent of spring - you do not feel used. But when you are looked at as a "body" that can be mentally disassembled into parts - then yes, something inside closes. And you are no longer happy, but defensive.

I ask myself, if a woman is married - is it acceptable for her to enjoy male attention? And in general, doesn't it dishonor her husband that someone else enjoys her? You know, it's a fine line. On the one hand, yes, family is sacred. And marital fidelity is not only in actions, but also in thoughts. On the other hand, we are not marble statues. We are people. A woman remains a woman, even if she has a ring on her finger. She does not stop being beautiful. And she does not stop being a part of this world, where men look and notice.

I think it all depends on how she reacts to this. If in response she starts playing, flirting, looking for confirmation of her significance outside the family - this is an alarm bell. But if she just quietly thanks God for remaining alive, attractive, that someone at this moment saw in her not just a mother, a co-worker or a neighbor, but a woman... Then there is nothing wrong with this. It is almost like gratitude for the fact that you did not disappear in the hustle and bustle.

From a young age, I tried not to look at people as objects. Perhaps because in our family the body was always treated with respect. Catholic culture generally teaches us to see the body not just as "flesh", but as a temple. Especially a woman's body - it is capable of giving life. This is a great mystery. And when a man sincerely enjoys your beauty, not lowering it to instinct, but as if admiring God's creation - you feel that you are truly created "in the image and likeness". This is a very subtle, almost spiritual feeling.

And yet, there can be danger in this enjoyment. Because it is human nature to get used to it. Today you feel inspired by a look, and tomorrow - already dependent on it. You begin to look for confirmation of your value outside. And if you do not find it, you feel invisible. And this is the most terrible thing. Because then you forget: your value is determined not by someone else's look, but by God.

This is what I often think about. Is it possible to be enjoyed? What do you think?
Lana Banana