Sometimes men themselves can't fully explain what they're looking for in a woman. Not because they're stupid or confused, but because these are subtle, vulnerable things that aren't usually talked about out loud. And certainly not on the first date. Because society still demands armor, strength, and control from them.
But underneath all this, oddly enough, lives a very human and understandable desire - to be with a real woman. Not with an ideal model, but with a warm soul.

1. Men seek acceptance, but are afraid to seem weak
Perhaps the most important and most fragile male request is to be accepted as he is. Without trying to "remake", "fix" or "improve".

They want to be with a woman who doesn't require them to play a role - successful, cheerful, unbending. Just be yourself. Be silent if you want. Be in a bad mood. Admit that you're scared, that it hurts.
But how can you say this if you were taught from childhood "don't whine, be a man"? Therefore, men often hide this desire under the mask of irony, play or distance.

2. Men are looking for intimacy, not just passion
It's a paradox, but true: even if a man writes about sex (and he often does), this doesn't always mean only physical. Behind this may be a deep thirst for intimacy - not only with the body, but also with the soul.
Intimacy is when you can not be ashamed of your weaknesses. When there is eye contact, without words. When a woman nearby does not judge, but feels.
And yes, men crave to be desired - not just "convenient", but those whose body, smell, voice give them goosebumps.
Just talking about it directly is not easy for them. Society allows them to want sex, but does not allow them to want tenderness.

3. Men seek respect, and are afraid of being devalued
In any male love - no matter how it manifests itself - there is a need to feel significant. It is not necessary to be a "god" in the eyes of a woman, but at least her support, her choice.
When a woman broadcasts: "I don't need you, I can handle it myself," - he leaves. Not because she is strong, but because he feels: there is no place for him here.

At the same time, a modern man respects independent women. But it is important for him that next to such a woman he remains a man, and not a "convenient addition".

4. Men seek sincerity, but are afraid of being deceived
Most men (especially after 40+) are tired of falsehood. Of games, of automatic flirting, of "role women". They want live communication - even if a little awkward, with pauses and imperfect phrases, but for real.

He may not say: "It is important to me that you are sincere", but he will feel if you are insincere. He will read between the lines that the letter is written in a template. He will distance himself if he feels that you are not "included" in the conversation.
But here's the paradox - he himself can start with flirting, with compliments, with the image of a "macho". Simply because he does not know how to do it differently. Or he is afraid of being misunderstood. This is not a deception - it is protection.

5. Men seek peace - that very inner one
In a world where everything changes too quickly, and every day is a new challenge, a man is looking for a woman next to whom it is easier to breathe. Where you don't have to prove, earn love, save.
Not because he needs a "mommy" or a "wall". But because everyone - even the strongest - wants to feel like just a person.
Where you can relax. Where you can trust. Where you can be in silence and know that you are heard even without words.

So why don't men admit it?
Because fears are not only women's territory.
Because talking about feelings is a risk.
Because once, having opened up, they heard: "Are you a wimp?"
Because being vulnerable is scary.
And finally, because they do not always find the one with whom it is safe to be real.

And what to do about it?
If you are a woman who wants to understand men - just start hearing not only words, but also the silence between the lines.
Ask questions. Don't rush to conclusions. Don't laugh when he awkwardly talks about feelings. Don't test his strength - he's already in this world as if he were at war.
And most importantly - be real. Because a real woman doesn't "catch", she stays in the heart.
It's exactly to such a woman that people return. Even if they left. Even if they searched for a long time.