You know, I stopped being ashamed of my desires a long time ago. My life has had enough doubts, fears, thoughts of "what will people say?" But now I'm 23, I feel alive, adult and honest with myself. And yes, I want to be with an older man. Because I need depth. I want to be with someone who has already gone through something in life, who doesn't throw out loud words, but does. I like calmness, poise, understanding of the body, emotions, space. And you know what else? Older men are often much more attentive to their health - their own and their partner's. It's not about pills and clinics, it's about the fact that he can say: "calm down, go to sleep, I'll cook dinner". He doesn't compete, doesn't play, doesn't scream at night under the door after a quarrel. He breathes evenly. And I'm learning to breathe next to him.

Yes, I know what this looks like for society. But didn't I see indifference in relationships with my peers? Wasn't I forced to prove my "sufficiency", beauty, dignity? And age is not the reason here. I just want a man, not a boy. A person who knows what responsibility is. I don't play the "candy period", I don't need to be "carried in my arms" - I want support, warmth, partnership, silence, in which you can simply be silent next to me.

I am not afraid of condemnation, although, honestly, sometimes it hurts. When friends hint that it's strange. When acquaintances write disparaging jokes in my direction. But I choose to live honestly. And so, I choose not a perfect picture from social networks, but a real man, who may be 15 or 20 years older than me. And so what? If he gives me peace, acceptance, inspiration to take care of myself - it's not a sin, it's happiness. And I deserve it.