Vulnerability that we did not choose

The love awakens in us the most fragile - the desire to be accepted, understandable, loved. But at the same time, fear comes: “And if he (or she) will not reciprocate?”, “What if it is not seriously?”, “What if they abandon me?”
We suddenly find ourselves in the zone of emotional risk. Loneliness, albeit not the most pleasant state, gives a feeling of control. We control our feelings, without dependent on other people's decisions. But falling in love makes us vulnerable.

The experience of the past interferes with the present

Many are afraid to fall in love with the wounds of the past. One unsuccessful experience can forever integrate the installation in us: “Love = Pain”. It seems that the heart is ready to open again, but the mind reminds: "Caution, it was already."
Even if a new person is completely different, our internal guard raises the alarm - "do not trust, it will be worse." So we sabotage our own happiness, choosing emotional loneliness as a way of self -preservation.

Fear of losing yourself

Love is not only about feelings for another, but also about changes within us. We change habits, thoughts, priorities. Sometimes falling in love so captivates that we lose touch with ourselves.
And if a person leaves? What will remain? This uncertainty scares more than loneliness in which everything is stable, predictably, under control.

High expectations - a source of disappointment

When we fall in love, we often idealize a partner. We see not a person, but an image created from our own dreams and fantasies. The higher the ideal, the more painful the fall, if it is not justified.
Subconsciously, we feel this threat and try not to enter this state too deep. This is a mechanism for protection against disappointment, which, alas, closes us from real feelings.

And yet - is it worth being afraid of love?

Love can really be scary. But it is through it that we are growing, we recognize ourselves real, learn to trust and be close. This is not about the guarantee of happiness, but to feel the courage.

Loneliness gives safety, but rarely brings the fullness of life that love gives. And falling in love - albeit with risks - is a chance to go beyond the limits of their fears. Not the fact that everything will work out. But if you don’t try, nothing will change.