What is a “habit of being together”?

This is when the partners continue to inertia. They have known each other for a long time, built a joint life, they may have children, general memories, traditions, obligations. Everything seems to be calm, but in this stability there is no place for living feelings.

A habit is not always bad. It can be warm and supportive. But when it replaces intimacy, interest and mutual desire, relationships become like a daily routine, from which it is difficult to get out simply because "it is more convenient."

Why do we stay in such a relationship?

The reasons can be different.
Someone is scared of loneliness. Someone is afraid of change. And someone just does not know how otherwise it can be. It seems that changing something makes no sense-after all, everything is stable. Or vice versa: it seems that it is too late to start something again.

Sometimes partners simply do not have the strength or desire to talk heart to heart, try new things, inspire each other. It is easier for them to coexist in parallel worlds than to re -build an emotional bridge among themselves.
How to understand that you stayed together just because of the habit?

- You do not want to share thoughts or feelings.
- Next to your partner, you do not feel joy or lightness.
- All conversations come down to household topics.
- It is difficult for you to imagine a joint future that really pleases.
- You more and more often catch yourself on your thoughts: "What if I was/was one/alone?"

These are alarming signals, but not necessarily a sentence. They just say that it's time to look at the relationship honestly and ask yourself important questions.

What to do with it?

If you understand that relations are kept only on the routine, you have two ways:
Try to return living communication, emotions, interest in them - or honestly admit that you have grown in different directions.

Sometimes a fairly frank conversation to remind yourself and each other why you were together at the beginning. In other cases, joint work can help - a psychologist, new impressions, relaxation together, a revision of common goals.

But the main question is a desire. If both have it, even the most frozen relationships can be revived. And if not, maybe it's time to let go.

You can live on autopilot for a long time, but not endlessly. Sooner or later, a sensation of emptiness appears inside, which cannot be closed with household matters. And then it is important to understand: real proximity is not a habit. This is a choice made again and again. Every day.