We see not him, but the image

When feelings only arise, we tend to idealize. In the partner, qualities that are especially dear to us begin to appear: caring, confidence, passion, humor. But often we notice exactly what we want to see. We fall in love with the image created by our imagination, and this image does not always correspond to the real person.

Reflection of needs

Love can highlight our inner voids. Someone is looking for a support in the partner, because there is not enough safety sense inside. Someone is recognition to feel their value. And then the beloved becomes a kind of “patch” on emotional holes. We see in him not his personality, but what we need to get to feel integrity.

Repetition of scripts

Sometimes we unconsciously reach for people who resemble figures from the past-parents, former partners, even those who once offended. Thus, the psyche is trying to “finish” the old story, to get a new, happy final. We are not looking for a new person, but a chance to rewrite a familiar plot.

Love as an opportunity to see yourself

However, love is a powerful tool of self -knowledge. In relations, as in the mirror, a lot can be seen: how we react to intimacy, what we are afraid, where are the boundaries of our patience, how much we can trust. All these are valuable tips about yourself. And if we approach the relationship consciously, the partner really becomes a mirror in which we are reflected in the real.

What to do with it?

It is important to remember: each person is unique. And a partner is not only the projections of our expectations, but also a separate person with feelings, borders and his “I”. Conscious love begins where we cease to sculpt the image and begin to see another - without illusions, but with respect.

Love can be a mirror. But it depends only on us whether we will look at it honestly.