When a pause can help
Sometimes emotions in pairs go off scale - conflicts, fatigue, mutual claims. People seem to stop hearing each other. At such a moment, a short distance can become a way to restore breathing, look at relationships from the outside, realize your feelings. The pause allows you to be in silence, without pressure, without debate - and understand what you really want. Not in order to disappear, but to return with a new understanding.
But what's the danger?
If a “pause” is just a replacement for the word “parting”, then this is little honesty. Sometimes one of the partners simply does not dare to say that feelings have gone, and is hiding behind a beautiful formulation. In such cases, the pause turns into a waiting unanswered state, which only wounds stronger. Especially if there are no clear agreements: how long do you part? Can I communicate? What will happen then?
What should be avoided
A pause should not be a form of punishment or manipulation. This is not a "silent resentment", it is not a way to force a partner to suffer or "form." If someone from the couple has hidden motifs, the pause will only aggravate distrust and distance. And certainly it should not last forever. If the pause dragged on for months, most likely one of the partners is simply not ready to admit that the relationship has ended.
How to pause conscious
If you still decide on such a respite, it is important to discuss the rules in advance. How much will it last? Will you communicate? What does each of you want to understand during this time? Honesty is the main condition. Otherwise, the pause turns into a shaky area where it is easy to lose each other forever.
A pause is not a magical tablet, but not a deadly diagnosis. This is a tool. In skillful hands, he can save relations, give them a second wind. But in the absence of trust, frankness and respect - this is just a delay in the inevitable. The main thing is to remember: not a pause heals love, but the efforts that make after it.
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