Why are we afraid of happiness?

Happiness is an unusual thing. Especially if before there were complex, painful relationships. We learn to be on a guard, waiting for a trick. When suddenly everything develops perfectly, the brain, trained to protect, begins to look for cracks. And the more everything is good, the worse - because it is more painful to fall from a height. So past experience interferes with living in the present.

Self -suction: destroy before destroy you

Often it is the fear of losing something valuable that provokes strange behavior. People begin to find fault with trifles, check the feelings of a partner, arrange "inspections for strength." Sometimes they even unconsciously move away, so as not to depend too much. This is how the protective mechanism works: if you leave first, you will not be so painful. Only with this, a chance for real happiness is leaving.

How to stop waiting for a disaster

The first step is to admit your fear. Do not fight him, but to tell yourself honestly: "I'm afraid because it is important to me." And understand: there is no ideal relationship, there are simply real ones. They have difficulties, but they do not cancel love. If the partner is nearby, open and ready to be with you not only in good, but also in difficult - this is real value.

Allow yourself joy

Love should not be a drama to be deep. It can be quiet, gentle, light - and at the same time real. No need to deserve love with suffering. Sometimes the most difficult thing is to just accept happiness, without destroying it with analysis and doubts. Allow yourself to believe, to be vulnerable, to be loved - this is perhaps the most daring form of trust.

If it seems that everything is too good - maybe you just got to where you really feel good. And now you need not to look for a catch, but to learn to be in this. Because true love is not afraid of its pain, but by its depth and softness. And maybe it really exists - you just are finally ready for her.