But in their soul. When everything seems to be going according to plan, but at some point the world seems to become silent, and even your favorite things stop bringing joy. The work that you used to do with passion becomes a heavy, rusty mechanism. And you keep turning and turning the gears, because... well, how else? You are a man. You have to.

I do not say this with reproach. On the contrary, with sympathy. Because I see how this internal debt to the whole world gnaws away at a man from the inside. He may not show it, joke, even be the life of the party - but I see how this slight shadow sometimes appears in his gaze... a desire to simply disappear for a couple of weeks. Or months. Just to have some silence. So that he does not have to prove anything to anyone. Neither to himself, nor to the world.

And here the most important thing begins. This is a place where I, as a woman, can be either a burden... or a support.

You see, we often perceive relationships as a kind of transaction: you are strong, successful, providing, and I am beautiful, sweet, and supportive. But this is, in fact, just a wrapper. True closeness manifests itself in moments when one is having a hard time, and the other is nearby. Silently, without claims. Just with a cup of hot tea and the words: "Rest. I will pull everything together myself for now. Not forever - just so that you can return to yourself."

I am not a holy person. I also have weaknesses, there are grievances, there are internal "why always me?" But my faith, my Catholic foundation teaches me not only to forgive, but also to accept - for real. There are so many stories in the Gospel about how important it is to see the soul in a person, and not the result. It seems to me that men especially need this view. Because from childhood they are taught not to be themselves, but "someone worthy".

But in love there are no debtors. There is only "us". One puzzle and the other. Sometimes one puzzle is stronger and carries everything on itself. Sometimes - the other. The main thing is that the picture as a whole remains complete. So that both know: we do not have to be perfect all the time. But we have to be there.

Maybe you want to disappear, but you are afraid that you will become a "burden". Or that you will stop being respected.

I will tell you straight, sometimes the only way to return to yourself is to shut up, stop and give yourself time. And if there is someone next to you who is not afraid of your temporary silence, but on the contrary - covers you with her trust, then this is real. Such an alliance in which a man can be not only a breadwinner, but also just a person. Vulnerable. Honest. Real.

You do not have to be strong all the time. Even Christ, whom I respect so deeply, asked in the Garden of Gethsemane: "Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me..." - he did not hide his pain, did not play a role. This is a huge lesson for me. To be strong is not to hide weaknesses. It is to be able to admit them.

I do not know where your path is leading you now. Maybe you just need a place to breathe. I sincerely hope that one day you will meet someone who will not demand eternal heroism from you, but will simply say: "I am near. While you rest - I hold this world for both of us."

And then you will definitely return. The way you want to be. And this will not only be your victory, but also a common one.

Lana Banana