But for some reason at that moment it stung. I looked at the face of the mature guy in front of me in line. He took out his wallet, but his eyes were somehow... tired. Not from Friday - from this eternal role of "debtor".

And so I stand there and think why it is that a man in this world seems to always have to "pay"? Not just with money. Pay for entry. For dinner. For the first step. For an apartment. For a vacation. For the peace of mind of his woman. For the right to be near her. And a woman seems to only have to "allow" herself to be taken care of.

I know, now someone will think, "Well, it has always been like this. The man is the breadwinner." But isn't the world changing? And most importantly, should love and intimacy be built on one person giving all the time and the other taking all the time?

It seems to me that when we expect a man to "provide everything," we forget about the main thing - about equality in respect, in giving, in caring. In the Catholic tradition in which I grew up, a man is not an ATM or a wallet on legs. He is a partner, a person with whom God brought you together so that together you can build something more than just everyday convenience. He is not an obligation. He is a gift. Just like you are for him.

Honestly? I am very happy when I see a woman say to a man, "Listen, I will pay for us." Not because she wants to humiliate him or show who is the boss, but simply because she wants to be there and contribute her part to what they have in common. Such a small but powerful gesture: "I am here not because you pay. I am here because you are you."

Here's another important thing: when a man feels that he is obliged, he loses the freedom to be himself. And without freedom, there will be neither honest love nor sincerity. Fatigue appears, and then irritation. What's the point of building a relationship in which one pays with money, and the other - only with his presence?

A woman can be strong and generous no worse than a man. This does not make her less feminine. On the contrary, there is maturity in this. In the Bible, a woman is a helper, but not in the sense of "silently behind", but in the sense of equal, supportive, nearby. Not on the neck, but on the same line.

I am not for men not paying anything at all now. No, it's not about turning everything upside down. I am for them to have a choice. So that a man does not feel that he always "must". So that he knows that next to him is a person who will not abandon him if something happens, who will not say: "Well, if you don't have money, then you are not right for me."

And maybe you're tired of paying — for the entrance, for the food, for the relationship. Maybe you're tired. And you know what? That's okay. You don't have to be the sponsor of someone's happiness. You can just be a man. A real, alive man, sometimes tired, sometimes generous, sometimes in need of someone to tell you: "You're not alone. I'm with you."

Lana Banana