I would like to share my thoughts and observations about what can help partners find the way to each other after a difficult conversation, a tense dispute or resentment.

Do not rush to close the topic

Very often, especially in long -term relationships, there is a temptation to quickly “smooth out” everything. Say “okay, forget” and pretend that there was nothing. But conflicts do not disappear from silence. Even if the world is on the surface, there may remain a precipitate inside. Therefore, before reconciling - it is important to hear each other. Without rush. Without a struggle for right. Just talk, even if the conversation turns out to be awkward.

Do not look for the winner

This is perhaps one of the most difficult rules. Indeed, in a quarrel, we almost always want to prove that we were right. But reconciliation is not about who won, but about who is ready to let go. The real restoration of intimacy begins where it is more important to preserve a person than his point of view. Where the pain of another becomes as important as its own.

Warm action is stronger than beautiful words

After the conflict, you do not always need to talk a lot. Sometimes a small gesture acts stronger: a poured mug of tea, SMS “Are you at home?”, A slight touch. This does not always mean complete forgiveness or completion of the conversation. But this is a sign. What do you want peace. That a person is still dear to you. And what are you ready to return, step by step.

Caution with silence

There are times when after a quarrel silence is a way to think. And there are - when this is a punishment. And the difference between these two types of silence is felt. If you need a break, you can say so: "I want to stay a little alone (a), but we will definitely talk." This simple explanation can save from many of the omissions and fantasies in which a person will offend himself even more.

Do not forget that you are not enemies
Even in the most stormy argument, it is important to remember: a person opposite is not your opponent. This is not a battle. This is an attempt to be heard. When this thought settles in my head, the conflict ceases to be destructive. It turns into a growth process. Heavy but important.

Reconciliation is art. This is not always simple and not always pleasant. But every time, when two people after a quarrel find the way to each other - their connection becomes stronger. Because love is not a lack of conflicts, but the ability to experience them together. Sincerely. With kindness. With the desire to be near - no matter what.