When love gives you to breathe

Love can be different: passionate, calm, tender or violent. But it should always have a place for personal space. For inspiration. For a pause. In a healthy relationship, partners can be together and at the same time remain themselves. They are not afraid to spend time separately, have their own interests and desires. They are not required to know each other step, because trust is not about control, but about a sense of security.

What is emotional suffocation?

This is the feeling that you are “too many” all the time: questions, expectations, grievances, complaints. The partner wants to be nearby. He worries when you linger, offends, if you went somewhere without him, requires constant attention and confirmation of feelings. All this can be disguised as “care”, but in fact you begin to feel guilty for your personal space. So - you lose yourself.

How is it felt?

You get tired. You catch yourself on what you talk less about your desires, so as not to upset another. You are worried if you just want to be alone. You do not rejoice at the meeting, because you are waiting for another wave of reproaches. You do not feel freedom to be yourself. Gradually, this kills lightness, intimacy and even sexual attraction. Because no one falls in love with the one who seemed to merge with you into one inseparable creature.

Why is this happening?

The root is often in fear - to be abandoned, forgotten, unsuccessful. People cling to love with such fear, trying to merge with a partner in order to “hold”. But instead of proximity, pressure is obtained. Emotional suffocation is not about love. This is about the alarm that is hiding under the mask of attachment.

Is it possible to change something?

Yes. If both are ready to talk and hear. Sometimes you need to gently, but honestly say: "It is important for me to be alone - this is not about the fact that I do not love you, but about the fact that I am so restored." Sometimes - seek support to a psychologist to figure out where such an alarm comes from. It is important to remember: true love gives wings, and does not hold on a short leash. And the more free you breathe next to your partner, the stronger your "we".

Love is not tenacious embrace, from which you can not escape. This is a space where you can be yourself and know that you are accepted. If you feel that you are not breathing in a relationship, then it means it's time to think: is it love or fear of losing? Because the true feeling always chooses freedom. And only on this basis does real intimacy grow.