It’s like wearing a raincoat in sunny weather. No one can see that it’s cold inside. And it’s kind of funny, because you put it on yourself. But you’re afraid to take it off.
Have you ever wanted someone to notice this “everything is fine” and gently ask - are you sure? Without pushing, without extracting confessions, just with sincere attention. Not because you have to, but because you care.
Sometimes it seems that if you say out loud “I feel bad” — it will be like weakness. Especially if you are used to being strong, decisive, “everything is under control.” And then you catch yourself thinking that, perhaps, more than anything in the world, you just want someone to be there. Silently or with a cup of tea. Without recipes and advice.
It seems to me that we all hide behind “everything is fine” from time to time. Both men and women. It’s just that we were taught this way — to keep a straight face, not to whine, not to be “too” sensitive. And you seem to have grown up, you already understand everything, you are no longer a boy or a girl, but an adult. But the habit remains.
I’m not asking you to read between the lines. It’s just… sometimes you want someone to want to do it themselves. To see more in their eyes than a smiling smiley. To understand that behind “yeah, everything is fine” there can be a whole hurricane. And not get scared.
When you are heard - even in silence, even when you do not ask for anything out loud - this is probably the most valuable thing. Such a quiet, careful contact that does not require proof. You just exist, and they do not want to remake you, correct you, fix you.
Maybe this is real warmth. Not when you are needed only cheerful and cheerful, but when you can be anything. Even a little tired. Even in silence.
And yes, I know how to be strong. I know how to support, defuse the situation, joke inappropriately. But sometimes ... I just want to be heard. Even when I pretend that everything is fine.
And if you are reading this and suddenly recognized yourself - know that I understand.
Nata