We do not come into this world with a perfect capacity to trust. Trust is not a given, but the result of experience. It is born of security, stability, consistency. And when a person has experienced betrayal, deception or emotional instability, their ability to trust is wounded, broken. This is human. This is worthy of compassion.

But compassion is not synonymous with unconditional patience.

When trauma becomes a prison for another
Problems with trust can manifest themselves in different ways: jealousy, control, cold detachment, constant suspicion. It is like living under the supervision of an invisible judge who is always ready to pass sentence for a crime you did not commit. And then the relationship turns into a struggle - not for closeness, but for justification.

The one who is next to a person with distrust is often forced to prove his "innocence" every day. But the essence of trust is not to prove, but to be. When trust requires proof, it becomes control, and love becomes a burden.

Is anyone responsible for someone else’s wounds?
We all have wounds. But that doesn’t give us the right to turn our loved ones into unpaid doctors. If I know I have a trust problem, that’s my responsibility. Working with a therapist, recognizing my triggers, talking about my fears is my duty to myself and to the person I love.

Expecting another person to “cure” me with their perfection is convenient, but unfair. It’s shifting my inner pain onto the shoulders of another. And then love becomes an addiction, where one party suffers so that the other feels safer.

Love as a journey of two
Love is not about one pulling the other, it’s about both walking towards each other. Someone who has trust problems can be in a relationship if they want to heal, not just demand understanding. And the one who is nearby has the right to say: “I understand you, but I am not ready to suffer for what I did not cause.”

This is not about selfishness. This is about self-respect. Because if love hurts every day, is it really love?

🌀 Relationships are not a sacrifice, they are a meeting. And if fear lives in one heart, and patience in the other, then only together can they create something greater than both. But only if both want to move forward.