But the longer I live, the more often I catch myself thinking that they are no less afraid than we are. It's just that the silence in which they hide it is louder than any screams.

I have seen how a man turns away when something like tears accumulates in his eyes. Or how he abruptly changes the topic of conversation when you touch on something important. I have noticed how tense the backs of those who behave "as they should", although inside there is a storm.

Yes, we - women - cry. We go to our friends, we talk, write, speak out. And they? Who do they tell that they are afraid of losing themselves, that they are afraid of not measuring up, that they are afraid of loving and not being needed?

Sometimes I think how many men are silently afraid of being rejected. How many are afraid of not living up to expectations. How many times have they taken a step towards a woman, and then retreated not because they “didn’t want to,” but because the fear of not being accepted was screaming inside.

And how rarely do we give them space to be vulnerable. Really. Without armor. Without the image of a “real man.”

I once asked a friend Have you ever been afraid?

He chuckled Every day. It’s just not customary to talk about it.

So we live next to those who are learning to keep silent about their fear. And it seems to us that they don’t feel it. And they are just used to hiding it.

It seems to me that if we, women, more often looked not at strength, but at wounds, at cracks, at what’s behind the back, many things would become different.

After all, fear doesn’t make us weak. It makes us alive. And when a man decides to open it, even a little, it is perhaps the strongest thing he can do.

I want to learn to hear. To see not only courage, but also fear. Not as weakness, but as part of a person. Because being alive is about pain, and about doubts, and about fragility.

And I'm still alone, yes. But maybe it's because I'm not looking for a hero without fear, but a person who is not afraid to admit that he is afraid 💔

Maybe this is where true intimacy lies.

Mari